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How to Deal with Relatives During the Holidays

For some, the holidays are a wonderful time of the year where they get to see distant relatives, hang out around the hearth, and trade stories with your family. For others, though, the holidays can be a time where you must listen to a racist uncle, deal with a mother that’s panicking to get the Christmas spread ready, and a grandfather who’s sitting in the corner getting drunk. This type of holiday pressure can be rough on anyone, but it can be worse if you have mental health issues of your own such as anxiety or depression. You likely have your own personal ways of coping with relatives over the holidays, but they not be the healthiest ways to cope. Let’s view this from a mental health standpoint and look at healthy ways to deal with your family over the holiday season. Dealing with Relatives over the Holidays Set Boundaries/Have a Plan Set boundaries for yourself before you go into a family event. Make rules to yourself including who you shouldn’t talk, controversial topics that you should stay away from, where you should sit, and even how to get out if things get rough. It also helps to give yourself time parameters to make you feel more comfortable, e.g. limit yourself to only 3-4 hours at a certain event. Don’t Make Things Personal When you have rough relatives it’s easy to take things personally. Most of the time any criticisms or arguments lobbed after you aren’t even meant to be personal. Remember the holidays are not all about you and don’t take things too personally. Try to go in with a happy, open spirit and remember that the holidays are for the entire family. Have Realistic Expectations It’s easy to think, “This year will be different,” and it may be, but try to go to any family functions with realistic expectations. Your grandmother is still likely to ask if you’ve met anyone, and your aunt is likely going to disparage an entire race of people, so keep your head up! The holidays can be tough on people, especially if there are mental health issues in the mix. Before going to any holiday event set boundaries, plan, don’t take things personally and have realistic expectations. With these tips and more, you may be able to enjoy yourself this holiday season.

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Is There a Connection Between Depression and the Holidays?

Some people can’t wait for the holidays to arrive, while others dread when they look at the calendar and see Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s all coming up. If you experience mental health issues such as depression, it may almost seem like when the holidays roll around, your depression and levels of anxiety seem to grow. So, is it normal to feel this way? Let’s review what impact the holiday season can have on your mental health issues such as depression and what you can do to turn the holiday season around into an enjoyable experience. Is There Really a Connection Between Depression and the Holidays? Like many other things with mental illness, there is plenty of misinformation regarding depression and the holiday season. There has long been a social rumor that suicide rates peak during the Christmas and holiday season, but this isn’t true. In fact, according to the trade publication Psychology, Today suicide rates are actually at their lowest during December. Since suicide rates have a direct correlation with depression, but they’re actually low during the holidays, where does this information come from? There actually is a typical increase in depression during the holiday season, but it’s possible a seasonal influx of depression can be contributed to the season itself and not to the dread of meeting family members. The human body loves and needs sunlight, so when the levels of sunlight drop during the short days of winter (not so coincidentally the same time as the holiday season) our bodies can be affected. This is known as seasonal depression or seasonal affective disorder (SAD.) SAD can cause our circadian rhythm to go haywire, can cause a drop in your serotonin levels and a drop in your body’s natural production of melatonin. All these factors can make even people with average mental health feel depressed and can make depression already being suffered by others worse. The fact that SAD coincides with the holiday season may be a reason for the influx of heightened depression over the holidays, compounded with other personal issues you may experience over the holidays. There is a connection between the holidays and depression, but it could be contributed to the low levels of sunlight. If your depression seems to spike over the holidays, have a chat with your counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist to see what you can do to make the holidays full of cheer, and not depression.

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