July 2017 - Thrive Counseling

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Denver Therapist and Counselor for OCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

3 signs you may have OCD

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is a relatively common mental health issue that affect 2-3% of the population. OCD is often difficult to differentiate between simply being very tidy, very organized, or having a perfectionistic personality. While it can be a challenge to be someone who gets upset at a cluttered home, having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a more serious problem. If you think you may have OCD, o know someone with OCD, here are three strong signs that you may struggle with this issue. 1. You Have Unsettling, Intrusive Thoughts About Bad Things Happening Intrusive thoughts are a main criteria for OCD. These are particularly alarming thoughts that are intrusive in nature-meaning, they appear out of nowhere, or they can sometimes seem like your brain is “hijacked” into imagining scary things. These thoughts revolved around bad things happening to yourself or someone you love, or even sometimes to a stranger. For example, you might be working on a project at work and all of the sudden you have a scene in your head of getting into a car accident. These thoughts, while irrational and unconnected to your present experience, feel very real and impending. These are the kind of thoughts that make you sweat. They feel really real, as if this thing is bound to happen. 2. You have an urge to do a ritual to stop this bad thing from happening The rituals in OCD are a response to the intrusive thought. An OCD ritual is a behavior that you feel compelled to do because of the intrusive thought. You feel as if you do not complete this ritual, the bad thing will absolutely happen. Here are some common OCD rituals: Checking doors, locks, and switches multiple times-even if you just checked them Stepping on a particular area of the floor-or avoiding a certain area of the floor Pushing a button a certain number of times, even if it takes more time than necessary Saying a certain word or phrase Touching something a certain amount of times before you can “move on” and leave the object behind An important thing to remember about OCD rituals is that they usually have to be “completed.” This means that if you’re interrupted for some reason, you feel the need to start over, as if it did not count to ward off the bad thing from your intrusive thought. I’ve personally worked with clients who could spend up to an hour trying to get a ritual “right” because they were interrupted. 3. You Can’t Stop Doing the Rituals-No Matter How Hard You Try OCD is by its nature compulsive. You feel compelled to engage in the rituals and you can’t control your intrusive thoughts. It’s not a choice, it’s a mental health issue. Don’t feel shame around OCD. OCD it very treatable; usually a combination of medication and counseling can control symptoms or make them go away completely. Counseling involved identifying intrusive thoughts and rituals, and slowly building up coping tools so that you can slow down the rituals and eventually stop. If you think you may have OCD, you can call a counselor or therapist who treats OCD and get their opinion. If you think you might have OCD, call Thrive Counseling to get an expert opinion. For more information about how therapy for OCD helps, go to our OCD Therapy page.

How To Forgive Yourself. Denver Counseling. Denver Therapy.

How Do I Learn to Forgive Myself?

Forgiveness is hard. Learning to forgive yourself is often the first step to creating a real change in your life or moving in a new direction. There’s a wonderful quote from the celebrated Carl Rodgers that wisely points out: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” So how do we forgive ourselves for past bad behaviors, bad habits, broken relationships, or just plain not living up to our best selves? First, Know what Forgiveness is and What it isn’t Forgiving yourself is very similar to accepting yourself, warts and all. But it’s important to remember that acceptance is not the same as condoning your actions or thinking “it’s OK’ or “it’s no big deal.” Acceptance is simply recognizing your reality, and seeing our mistakes for what they are; mistakes that we made that had some consequences. We need to look these in the eye and really see them before we can move forward. Forgiving yourself is not letting yourself off the hook or excusing yourself. Don’t Sugarcoat It, But Don’t Unnecessarily Beat Yourself Up Either We all make mistakes, and forgiving ourselves means we see what we did, and we take responsibility for our part in it. We need to not judge ourselves overly harshly, but we do need to name what we did and see the negative consequences. For example, I was working with a client who was absent for most of his child’s early years due to his own drug addiction. He had a difficult time forgiving himself because his inner dialogue swung between letting himself off the hook and punishing himself by telling himself he was worthless and a horrible person. These two extremes may feel true in different moments, but the truth is in the middle. When we worked together, we came up with the language of “I was selfish and untreated in my addiction for years, this caused a rift in my relationship with my child. I’m working on it, but I know I have a tendency to be selfish, so I will be mindful of this.” Take It Into Context Nothing happens in a vacuum. When we make mistakes, when we’re short-sighted or hurtful, there’s usually a contributing factor at play. Maybe it unresolved trauma, maybe we just experienced a loss, maybe we are not taking responsibility to take care of ourselves. Whatever it is, it’s important in the self-forgiveness process to remember and name the context of our actions; not to excuse ourselves, but to ground ourselves in reality and learn from it moving forward. Right The Wrongs That You Can No one can rewind the past, but we can be pro-active to right the wrongs that we can. Whether our mistake was yesterday or decades ago, we can all reach out to those that we’ve hurt and apologize. If we can’t do that, we can look at what happened honestly and learn to not make the same mistake again. Lastly, Let It Go Forgiving another person means that you don’t get to use what they did as a weapon anymore. There are still consequences our their actions, but you can’t use their mistake to punish them when you’re feeling angry or sad. The same goes for forgiving yourself. When you’re feeling bad about yourself, it’s tempting to replay our past mistakes and beat ourselves up. But when we can take responsibility, and then let it go, we are removing that past mistake from our arsenal of weapons with which we can shame ourselves. This is how self-forgiveness moves us forward. It’s not an east process, but a worthwhile one.

People Talk About Their First Therapy Session

We love this amazing video from Boldly where people open up about their first therapy session. What really jumped out to us (what what we have heard from our own clients) were these quotes from the video: If I don’t tell people I know and love about my problems, why would I tell a stranger my problems? I was really nervous and I almost cancelled.. So much emotion came out at me, and I was such a great feeling..

Denver Therapist and Counselor for Panic Attacks

What Happens in Your Brain During a Panic Attack?

I’m someone who feels almost immediately calmed when I understand what’s going on within me. Even if the feeling does not go away right away, simply being able to know what’s happening is helpful. No where is this more helpful than in the area of anxiety and panic attacks. Panic attacks are frightening and confusing. Here’s what happens in your brain during a panic attack. The Amygdala decides there’s a danger The pathophysiology of a panic attack is not well understood yet. But we’re beginning to understand which parts of the brain are involved. The part of your brain that acts as the “anxiety waystation” is the amygdala located in the temporal lobe. This is where sensory information from the environment and your past memories of similar situations is integrated. The amygdala, then, is what will “decide if you need to panic”. Generally, there is a trigger involved though the person experiencing the attack is not always conscious of the trigger (this is where therapy can be very useful). After the decision is made, your body “turns on the fight-or-flight” response and you’re well aware of what happens next. It should also be noted that every panic attack you have strengthens this neural circuit which only predisposes you to future attacks. Are certain people predisposed to panic attacks? Now why do people develop panic disorder / attacks? The main culprit seems to be disruptions in GABA neurotransmitter system which is involved in A LOT of human emotions and reactions. GABA is a name for a specific transmitter in your brain, that carries message from one neuron cell to another, telling the brain to do certain things. The things that might contribute to these changes in the GABA system include your temperament (we think this is a genetic thing), the adversity you’ve faced in your childhood, life stress and then genetics in the general sense. I’ve had people tell me it’s a glitch in the fight-or-flight response, that my brain is unable to process the stress being placed on it, my body is dumping it’s supply of adrenaline That’s how most panic attacks work. Andrenaline increases your heart and breathing rate in preperation for extreme physical exertion. Since you typically don’t exert yourself, you wind up with secondary symptoms, like shaking, lightheadedness, and low blood sugar. This discomfort can induce stress in and of itself, prolonging the attack.

If Your Loved One was Sexually Assault -Therapist in Denver here to help

If Your Loved One was Sexually Assaulted-Be The Encourager

Healing from trauma is hard work. It’s exhausting and taxing. As a supporter, you can help by encouraging the survivor to continue doing their work of healing while validating how difficult the process is. Sometimes we all need a word of encouragement to continue down an uncomfortable path. Make time to encourage the survivor in your life, letting them know they can do it and that you have faith in them. Here are some things to say to encourage the survivor in your life: You’re doing a great job, I can’t imagine who difficult this must be for you. I know it’s hard to do this healing work, keep at it. I saw that you used that new coping tool you learned in your group, great job. How can I help you to stay on your healing path? Can I help you find a therapist to talk through this? You seem overwhelmed but you’re doing a great job right now, let’s slow things down and talk about it. If your Loved One has stopped their healing process As a trauma therapist, I know first-hand that healing is really hard work, and sometimes people ‘drop out’ of their process. They could stop seeing their therapist, stop going to their group, stop utilizing coping tools and turn to unhelpful ones such as using substances to ‘numb out’ or shutting down their feelings. It happens, and it’s scary for those who love them and only want to see them get better. As the Encourager, you can support them by helping them re-enter their healing process and remind them of the progress that you see when they are working on these things. When the survivor is in their healing process, it can be difficult to see their progress, so make sure that you are reminding them in concrete ways of how their work is helping and encourage them to continue. Be their cheerleader, they need one right now.