We’ve all been there. Stuck in gridlock traffic on I-25, trying to travel through downtown Denver, or just get to the airport on time (I’m looking at you, 225 and Pena Boulevard!). Traffic in Denver is pretty bad, as everyone has noticed (and vented about). Not just the highways, but the side-streets and quiet neighborhoods of a few years ago are clogged, and we’re all bearing the mental load of being stuck in traffic or crawling along at a snail’s pace. Road Rage in Denver Road Rage refers to the intense feeling of anger, irritation, hostility or all-out rage that we sometimes feel while driving. Being cut off in traffic, sitting in a standstill, or being late to something important can trigger a lot of big feelings. There have been a few high-profile incidents of intense Road Rage in Denver recently.  Road Rage can be really harmful to ourselves and others. Being stuck in traffic presents an emotion management problem. In other words, to survive in Denver traffic these days, you need some skills and tools to keep from becoming overly angry, frustrated or stressed. The First Step is Acceptance When we think about emotion regulation, the first step is always one of acceptance. It’s really important to accept your situation for what it is, and validate for yourself that it’s frustrating and difficult. Acceptance in this sense doesn’t mean you ‘approve’ or what’s happening or that you have to feel good about it, you simply need to accept it as your reality. How do we do this? The best way is to talk to yourself (or think to yourself) about the situation without any judgement or wishful thinking that it was different (just the facts). Here’s some examples: I am stuck in traffic and I didn’t expect to be. I feel really frustrated and also worried that I will be late for work. My commute is always very slow, as it is today. I feel uncomfortable in my car and I have another 30 minutes of driving ahead of me. I feel angry that this is my everyday experience. The Next Step is Making a Plan After we have accepted and described our situation, we are ready to make a plan to cope with the difficult feelings we are experiencing. It’s important to frame this as trying to improve the moment, not rail against our emotions as they are, or try to change them because they are unacceptable. The goal is to make a plan to roll with your feelings, improve the moment somewhat, and wait out a challenging situation.  Here’s some examples of things to do while stuck in traffic to alleviate frustration: Take 10 deep breaths, then take ten more Do some light stretches (if you can while driving safely) Call a friend or family member you’ve been meaning to connect with Listen to a podcast or audiobook Sing along to some music If you’re going to be stuck in the car anyway, might as well practice coping skills like the ones above. The Final Step is to Evaluate What Worked, and Try to Avoid Stressors in the Future Once you’re done with your marathon commute, take a moment to review for yourself what worked the best for riding out the frustration of the traffic jam. Were you able to lose yourself in your favorite music? Did you discover a podcast that held your attention? Did those should rolls feel great? How about breathing? Once you know what works best for you, you can plan for future traffic snarls (because let’s be real, I-25 isn’t going to be a breeze anytime soon). Have your coping skills handy. It can help to tape a notecard to your dashboard to remind yourself of these tools. Furthermore, research shows that when we anticipate feelings of anger or frustration, we experience these emotions differently than if they catch us by surprise. If can accurately anticipate our feelings, when they come roaring up at us we experience ourselves as more in control. We can greet them and say “Oh yeah, I knew you would come along, but I’ve got a plan in place.” So when you head out on your drive and you predict that there will be frustrating traffic, make sure you’re loaded up with podcasts (if that’s your thing), or you’ve got your stress ball squishy at the ready (if you like that), and just plan to be irritated. It’s how it is, and it’s not your job to change it, it’s your job to roll with it, accept your feelings and respond well. For your own mental health. For the other drivers. For all of us stuck in Denver traffic with you.