Blog Archives

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month: Here’s Your Mental Health Checkup.

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month—Have You Done Your Mental Health Check-up Yet? By: Jessica Taylor, LPC What Is Mental Health Awareness Month?   The month of May is when we try to put even more time and resources into both increasing public awareness around mental health issues, and decreasing the stigma that remains regarding asking for help and seeking treatment for mental illness.  According to the National Institute for Mental Health, approximately one in five adults in the US struggle with a mental illness.  Participating in Mental Health Awareness Month can mean being more mindful about attending to your own mental health, or it can mean reaching out to others in need.   How to Do a Mental Health Check-Up Maintaining a healthy baseline mood is not a “one and done,” but rather an ongoing lifelong process for all of us.  Even if you are do not have mental illness in your family history, life is complex and complicated.  Situational events such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or a cancer diagnosis can result in symptoms of mental illness.  If you are wondering where to start when assessing the status of your own mental health, here are some ideas.  General Mental Health Self-Assessment  Ask yourself these quick questions in order to get a general sense of whether you might be experiencing some symptoms of mental illness such as depression or anxiety.   Have I recently started eating less or more than usual?   How much am I moving my body each day?   Am I using alcohol or any other substances to cope with stress, sadness, etc.?   Am I getting enough sleep? How is the quality of my sleep?   Do I feel excessively tired or fatigued throughout the day, despite getting enough sleep?  Do I feel at ease (not anxious or stressed) when at home and/or in public?   Have I been isolating myself from friends and family?  Am I still engaging in activities that I find to be enjoyable?   Am I able to concentrate when necessary?   Have I been experiencing extreme shifts in my mood?  Am I more angry or irritable lately?   Have I been tearful or crying more than usual?   Have I been having any thoughts of suicide?   Journal About Your Mood Each Day Try taking five minutes at the end of each day to write about what your mood and functioning was like that day.  This way, you can begin to notice any patterns that come up (i.e., “I feel more stressed out on the days that I don’t take my morning walk.”)  You can structure this in whatever way is helpful to you, but here are some ideas:  Where is my mood on a scale from 1-10 today?   How did I feel for most of the day (i.e., calm, sad, angry, stressed, etc.)?   Did anything significant happen today that might have impacted my mood and functioning?   How much water did I drink?  What were my meals like?   Did I move my body today?   How much sleep did I get last night?     How to Reduce the Stigma Around Mental Health and Help Others Share your experience. One of the ways that symptoms of mental illness ‘trick’ us is making us feel alone in our experience.  For example, someone who is experiencing symptoms of depression might think something like: “I can’t tell my friends and family about what I’m going through because they won’t understand and will probably see me as weak.”  If you feel comfortable sharing your experience of mental illness and the steps you are taking to live a happier, more fulfilling life, that might be exactly what someone else needs to hear right now.  The more often people speak about their experiences with mental illness, the less stigma there will be around this issue.   Check-in with loved ones. By now we know that someone can look happy on the ‘outside,’ while experiencing immense suffering internally.  Check-in with friends and family members that you haven’t spoken to in a while by giving them a call or even sending a quick “How are you doing?” text.    

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Pornography Addiction: What Is It and How Can You Deal with It?

Pornography Addiction: What Is It and How Can You Deal with It? By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Due to conflicting research, there is a debate going on among professionals regarding whether overuse of pornography should be classified as an addiction.  But what we do know is that the overuse of pornography can be defined as not being able to stop watching porn, even if you want to.  In addition, watching pornography becomes problematic when it interferes with one or more areas of your daily life (i.e., work, relationships, etc.)  Furthermore, research shows that there is a direct link between overuse of pornography and relationship dissatisfaction.  The main reason for this is likely due to pornography being extremely accessible.  For a lot of people, it is an easy way to feel good for at least a few moments; it doesn’t take as much effort as relationships take, which means that then these relationships tend to be neglected in ways that can cause long-term damage.  If you worry that you might be addicted to pornography, keep reading to learn the signs of pornography overuse, as well as what you can do about it.   Signs That Your Use of Pornography Might Be a Problem You are viewing pornography during work and/or social situations. Your use of pornography causes negative feelings such as shame or guilt.   You are keeping your pornography use a secret from your partner.   You feel unable to quit using pornography despite the negative impacts it is having on your life.   You are less successful at work and in relationships due to spending too much time looking at pornography.   You think (or obsess) about looking at pornography when you are doing other things throughout the day.   You become defensive or angry when it is suggested that you cut-back or quit looking at pornography.   You are experiencing less sexual satisfaction when porn is not involved.   You often lose track of time when looking at porn.   You feel less interested in engaging in activities and/or social situations that you once enjoyed.   You are so consumed with pornography use that you neglect self-care.     What You Can Do If You Feel Your Pornography Use is a Problem Accept that this is a problem just as serious as any other addiction.   It can be easy to minimize the impacts of an addiction to behaviors such as pornography use since they likely won’t result in physical harm or death like drugs or alcohol can.  But if you relate to one or more of the signs listed above, it is probably time to consider taking action steps to at least reduce your use of pornography so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling life.  In order to do that, you need to accept that this is a real problem that needs to be addressed directly.   Be honest with your partner.   One of the most prevalent signs of an addiction is secrecy.  When dealing with addiction, people will often try to hide their use of substances or behaviors because they know that if they tell the people closest to them what is going on, they will be challenged and held accountable.  If you are serious about getting your pornography use under control, then you need to fill your partner in on everything so that they are able to help you through this process.   Find replacement hobbies and activities.   Simply put, you need to find other things to fill your time.  If you have less free time, you are going to look at less pornography.  In addition, engaging in activities and/or social interactions that you enjoy, will help increase your self-esteem.  Don’t overwhelm yourself–just try to implement one new hobby or activity at a time.     Seek out professional help.   If you want to find professional help, but don’t know where to start, try looking for a therapist near you on Psychology Today, or call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSA)Treatment Referral Helpline at 800-662-HELP (800-662-4357).  Once you find a therapist to work with, they will help you clearly define your goal, and will also likely teach you helpful skills and strategies using an evidenced based treatment modality such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.)  Your therapist will also help you determine whether medications would be beneficial.   Sources:  https://www.webmd.com/sex/porn-addiction-possible https://www.verywellmind.com/breaking-pornography-addictions-1270612

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How to Set Goals –And Stick to Them!

How to Set Goals –And Stick to Them! By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Are there goals that you have been wanting to tackle, but find yourself continually putting them off?  Maybe this is because you fear setting a goal and then failing.  Or sometimes it can be difficult to even know where to begin.  If this is the case for you, here are step-by-step instructions that you can follow to set your goals and stick to them.   Narrow it Down to One Current Desired Outcome First, grab a pen and paper.  Writing things down is the way to start off on the right foot.  Ask yourself: What area of my life am I currently wanting to improve?  Are you wanting to prioritize enhancing your social life?  Or maybe you feel as though you need to get back on track with your physical health and well-being.  Sure, there might be multiple areas in which you want to better yourself, but just pick the most important one first.  Once you start making progress and maintaining good habits there, you can use that momentum to drive you to start accomplishing goals in the next domain of your life.  A sure way to not make progress on your goals is to overwhelm yourself.   Use the SMART Acronym Make sure that your goals are smart!  Use this acronym to make sure that your goals are checking all the boxes that will aid in you finding success in accomplishing them.   Specific. Broad goals contribute to feeling overwhelmed.  Break down a large goal into multiple smaller action steps.  For example, having the goal of traveling more in the year 2022 would require short and medium-term goals for saving money, planning where to go, etc.   Measurable.  This means that there will be specific ways for you to know when you have accomplished your goal.  For example: “I will be attending a Pilates class at least three times each week by June of this year.”  Achievable. Your goals must be in your control. Take getting a new job for example.   Getting hired is out of your control but sending out applications and calling potential employers on a daily basis is within your control.   Relevant. Base your goals on your values, not on what you think your values should be.  Do you actually want to get a new job, or have your friends been telling you that you should get a new job?   Time-bound. Determine a timeline for action steps and a date by which you would like to accomplish your goal.   Determine and Plan for Possible Barriers Be sure to plan for possible external variables that might come up and impact your ability to achieve your goals.  Some of these may be out of your control, forcing you to just ride the wave and do your best.  But other barriers you can plan for. For example, if you plan is to get fit, how will you plan to maintain your goals through the holiday season, when structure is hard to come by?   Know Your Currency Rewarding yourself for accomplishing small action steps along the path toward your goals is a great way to stay on track.  But it is important to think about what rewards are motivating for you specifically.  Here is an example: “After every interview that I complete, I will treat myself to a drink from my favorite cafe.”   Have a Support Person Who Can Help Keep You Accountable This can be a friend, family member, or counselor.  Share your goals with someone you trust and either ask them to join you in activities associated to your goals, or even just ask that they check-in with you periodically about your progress.  Knowing that someone is going to ask you how your goals are going can be the motivation you need to keep going when things get tough.   Don’t Beat Yourself Up “Tough love” is really only motivating for a small percentage of people.  Think about it: when you say mean things to yourself, this makes you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad, do you want to do productive things?  Probably not.  Feeling bad might even be a trigger for engaging in maladaptive behaviors such as using food, drugs, or alcohol to self-medicate.  Or cause you to isolate yourself from the people you care about.  When you are not making the progress toward your goals that you had hoped for, pay attention to the thoughts that your brain is sending you.  If it is saying unhelpful or even harmful things to you, make an effort to remind yourself that buying into those thoughts will not motivate you to make more progress on your goals.  Find thoughts that will help you make progress and buy into those instead.  Here’s an example: “This week was tough, but I am signed up for that hiking group on Monday and am already making steps towards getting back on track.”  

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Mindfulness for Beginners

By: Jessica Taylor, LPC The word mindfulness has increased in popularity in recent years–and for good reason.  Studies show that the consistent practice of mindfulness can decrease the gray matter in our amygdala.  The amygdala is the part of our brain that helps manage stress.  And having lower levels of stress can help drastically improve our baseline mood and overall mental health.  When our mental health is at a good baseline, we function better at work and in relationships.  When our mental health and daily functioning are in a good place, there is evidence that shows this can also improve our physical health.  But does the thought of having to ‘quiet’ your mind during a busy day feel overwhelming?  Well, here is some good news: practicing mindfulness is probably a lot quicker and easier than you imagine.   The Difference Between Mindfulness and Meditation The practices of mindfulness and meditation are similar in that while they both help reduce symptoms of anxiety, there is a difference in their desired outcomes.  Mindfulness is described as the awareness of something, while meditation is the awareness of nothing, or trying to clear your mind from ‘clutter’ (Shapiro, 2017).  If you are looking for strategies aimed at coping with stress and anxiety in-the-moment (i.e. when you have a stressful work presentation starting in an hour), mindfulness skills are going to be your best friend.   Mindfulness Strategies That You Can Try Right Now Use your five senses.  Notice these things in-the-moment, using all your senses:  Five things that you can see.  Four things that you can feel.  Three things that you can hear.  Two things that you can smell.    One thing that you can taste. (This one might seem strange, but maybe you have a piece of gum you can pop in your mouth or have on a flavored lip balm that you can notice the taste of.)     Mindful breathing. Just sit and notice six slow breaths, or 60 minutes of breathing.  Pay attention to things like how your chest rises and falls as you breath.  Notice any changes in your body as you take the time to focus on your breathing. Are your shoulders feeling less tense?  Have your clenched fists loosened?   Mindful appreciation.  Take time throughout your day, or all at once at the end of your day, to notice five things that usually go unnoticed and unappreciated.  For example, maybe you walk into your office building every day without noticing the beautiful landscaping outside.   What to Do If You are Struggling to Master the Techniques on Your Own Check-in on your consistency.  The key to implementing any new strategies is consistency.  Just like you would need to train your body to feel ready to run a marathon, you need to train your brain to get accustomed to noticing when mindfulness skills would be helpful.  The more often you practice these skills, the more natural they are going to feel in your schedule and the more effective they will be in reducing stress and maintaining a positive baseline mood.   Check-in on your other needs.  If you are tired, thirsty, or hungry, it is going to be exceedingly difficult to feel invested in using mindfulness strategies.  Our most basic physiological needs must be attended to prior to attempting these “higher level” coping skills.       Look up some videos.  Look for videos on YouTube for additional instruction on how to use mindfulness strategies.  Or search for podcasts and/or apps that pertain to mindfulness.   Reach out to a counselor. If you feel as though you have attempted mindfulness strategies on a consistent basis and are still not sure if you are doing it right, there is no shame in reaching out for extra support.  A therapist can help you practice mindfulness during sessions, and will also hold you accountable in achieving your goal of implementing mindfulness on a regular basis.    

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