Blog Archives

Do You Have a Case of “Hangxiety?” Here’s What You Need to Know About Anxiety and Drinking

Amelia Elkins, LCSW, CAS With alcohol being a depressant, it’s no wonder why those with anxiety turn to drinking in times of need. In the moment, alcohol may feel like a numbing agent, a way to relax, or even a way to feel more comfortable connecting socially. Alcohol is also very normalized in the United States.   It’s legal, and is available pretty much anywhere, making it an easy option to reduce stress. That being said, “Hangxiety” is becoming a new buzz word and folks with underlying anxiety are noticing how detrimental hangovers can be for their mental health. Hangxiety is the high level of unease, nervousness, or stress one may feel on top of the usual side effects of a hangover. If you use alcohol to cover up anxiety in the moment, the anxiety doesn’t disappear but rather lays dormant until there’s no substance to cover it up, hence the strong sense of anxiety the following day. There is also research to suggest that the dopamine hormone is lower after a night of drinking.  A lack of dopamine definitely doesn’t help when you’re trying to maintain a decent baseline mood. Rather than turning to alcohol and risking the chance of only increasing your symptoms, instead try these tools to reduce anxiety: >Daily Exercise >Healthy, Balanced Diet low in sugar and caffeine >Daily Meditation >Recognizing anxiety triggers through journaling >Checking the Facts >Medication and/or Therapy Lastly, if you’re noticing drinking becoming a regular tool to reduce anxiety, it may be time to seek out professional support. Individual therapy is a great way to reduce drinking while also working on reducing anxiety. Reach out today to get started.

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Is Your Social Media Use Negatively Impacting Your Mental Health?

Three Tips to Change Your Relationship with Social Media Right Now Amelia Elkins, LCSW, CAS Are you finding yourself mindlessly scrolling on a daily basis? Does your mood negatively shift after being on social media? Do you look up and realize you’ve been lost in the feed for a whole hour? If any of these are true for you, it may be time to shift your relationship with social media. As therapist, I see folks who not only become anxious and/or depressed from too much time on social media, but also dependent. There are plenty of challenges with social media but also plenty of positives as well. Here are three tips to reset:   >Who You Hang Out With is Who You Are, Who you Follow is Who You Become Just as we cleanse our life from unhealthy food or beverages, we should also cleanse the content we are following. Are the folks you’re following making you laugh, feel good, or even motivated? Or are you left feeling bad about yourself, comparing your life, or with a sense of dread? Look to follow a variety of social media accounts that interest you and connect with your values as a way to reduce negativity. And of course, remember, everyone in life struggles in life and social media is a way to show the world the positive in our lives so don’t believe everything you see. Interested in the psychology behind following? More here: https://displaypurposes.com/blog/why-people-follow-influencers-what-makes-people-follow-you/.   >Space: Take a Breather I highly encourage all of my clients who are active on social media to consider taking at least a week off here and there. During this time, taking stock of how you feel, what you notice, and your ability to stay present. Is this a challenge? Do you feel a strong pull to check your accounts? What are you missing out on in life by being glued to your phone? And most importantly, how do you feel after the week is done? A sense of relief? Possibly more relaxed? Just as we take space from folks in our lives who are creating stress, taking a break from social media should also be important. Still not convinced? One study found that too much time on social media is linked with depression: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/da.22466.   >Boundaries: Are You Controlling Social Media or is Social Media Controlling You? Lastly, as you reincorporate social media back into your routine after a break, set a daily time limit for yourself to reduce rabbit holes. Check in with yourself and notice what feels like a healthy amount of time for yourself. If setting time boundaries independently feels too challenging, here’s a list of apps which will do this for you: https://www.mothermag.com/screen-time-limit-apps/.

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Pornography Addiction: What Is It and How Can You Deal with It?

Pornography Addiction: What Is It and How Can You Deal with It? By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Due to conflicting research, there is a debate going on among professionals regarding whether overuse of pornography should be classified as an addiction.  But what we do know is that the overuse of pornography can be defined as not being able to stop watching porn, even if you want to.  In addition, watching pornography becomes problematic when it interferes with one or more areas of your daily life (i.e., work, relationships, etc.)  Furthermore, research shows that there is a direct link between overuse of pornography and relationship dissatisfaction.  The main reason for this is likely due to pornography being extremely accessible.  For a lot of people, it is an easy way to feel good for at least a few moments; it doesn’t take as much effort as relationships take, which means that then these relationships tend to be neglected in ways that can cause long-term damage.  If you worry that you might be addicted to pornography, keep reading to learn the signs of pornography overuse, as well as what you can do about it.   Signs That Your Use of Pornography Might Be a Problem You are viewing pornography during work and/or social situations. Your use of pornography causes negative feelings such as shame or guilt.   You are keeping your pornography use a secret from your partner.   You feel unable to quit using pornography despite the negative impacts it is having on your life.   You are less successful at work and in relationships due to spending too much time looking at pornography.   You think (or obsess) about looking at pornography when you are doing other things throughout the day.   You become defensive or angry when it is suggested that you cut-back or quit looking at pornography.   You are experiencing less sexual satisfaction when porn is not involved.   You often lose track of time when looking at porn.   You feel less interested in engaging in activities and/or social situations that you once enjoyed.   You are so consumed with pornography use that you neglect self-care.     What You Can Do If You Feel Your Pornography Use is a Problem Accept that this is a problem just as serious as any other addiction.   It can be easy to minimize the impacts of an addiction to behaviors such as pornography use since they likely won’t result in physical harm or death like drugs or alcohol can.  But if you relate to one or more of the signs listed above, it is probably time to consider taking action steps to at least reduce your use of pornography so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling life.  In order to do that, you need to accept that this is a real problem that needs to be addressed directly.   Be honest with your partner.   One of the most prevalent signs of an addiction is secrecy.  When dealing with addiction, people will often try to hide their use of substances or behaviors because they know that if they tell the people closest to them what is going on, they will be challenged and held accountable.  If you are serious about getting your pornography use under control, then you need to fill your partner in on everything so that they are able to help you through this process.   Find replacement hobbies and activities.   Simply put, you need to find other things to fill your time.  If you have less free time, you are going to look at less pornography.  In addition, engaging in activities and/or social interactions that you enjoy, will help increase your self-esteem.  Don’t overwhelm yourself–just try to implement one new hobby or activity at a time.     Seek out professional help.   If you want to find professional help, but don’t know where to start, try looking for a therapist near you on Psychology Today, or call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSA)Treatment Referral Helpline at 800-662-HELP (800-662-4357).  Once you find a therapist to work with, they will help you clearly define your goal, and will also likely teach you helpful skills and strategies using an evidenced based treatment modality such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.)  Your therapist will also help you determine whether medications would be beneficial.   Sources:  https://www.webmd.com/sex/porn-addiction-possible https://www.verywellmind.com/breaking-pornography-addictions-1270612

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Problematic Drinking on the Rise Due to Pandemic and Isolation

By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Are You Concerned About a Recent Increase in Your Alcohol Consumption? It goes without saying that the COVID-19 pandemic has had so many negative impacts on our society.  One of the most alarming of those impacts is the increase in alcohol use. According to one study conducted with adults in the US, 60% of participants reported an increase in drinking compared to before the pandemic, while only 13% reported a decrease.   While the need for negative coping skills might decrease as life starts to feel more “normal,” it is important to consider that unhealthy habits formed during the past year might not be easy to break once the pandemic is over.  In addition, binge drinking can have long-term impacts on our health.  For these reasons, it is critical to determine whether your drinking habits might be problematic, and if so, what you can do about it.   What Is Considered Excessive Drinking?   According to the CDC, excessive drinking is classified differently for men and women.   Women: Four or more drinks during one occasion, or eight or more drinks in one week Men: Five or more drinks during one occasion, or 15 or more drinks in one week.   Reasons for Increased Alcohol Use During the COVID-19 Pandemic Using alcohol as a coping skill to manage emotional stress.  Alcohol is often used as a coping skill for symptoms of anxiety or depression because it is thought to ‘numb’ the negative thoughts or feelings.  But using drugs or alcohol as an avoidance tool is not helpful in the long run, as all those things that you are numbing yourself from experiencing in-the-moment will inevitably catch up to you.   Boredom If you are single and/or living alone, boredom during the pandemic has probably been frequent and distressing.  You were accustomed to being able to schedule yourself time alone while balancing that with social outings.  For many adults in the US, using alcohol has just become a way to pass the time.   To avoid thinking about life stressors such as financial issues, job loss, loss of loved ones, having to homeschool children, etc.  Again, here is that pesky use of avoidance as a coping skill—this time for situational stressors.  It is safe to say that most of us have experienced at least one loss in the past year.  For some people, the worst-case scenario: losing a loved one to COVID-19.  To others, a loss of a job, or even just the loss of alone time while your kids are at school.  We must acknowledge all loss and the impacts that this is having on our mental health and daily functioning. Signs of Excessive Alcohol Consumption Experiencing physical symptoms such as: headaches, nausea, stomach issues, fatigue, shakiness, etc.   Increase in symptoms of depression such as: feeling sad, having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, feeling hopeless, etc.  Increased anxiety as evidenced by: racing and/or intrusive thoughts, excessive worrying, feelings of dread, etc.   Hiding alcohol use from loved ones.  Chances are that if you are trying to minimize the appearance of how much you drink, then you are at least unconsciously aware that you are excessively using alcohol.   Increase in relationship or work conflict (Hall, 2021).  Drinking excessively can result in an increase in anger and irritability, so this can make it more difficult to function well in all the different domains of life.   What You Can Do If You Want to Decrease Your Alcohol Consumption Define your desired outcome: abstinence or decrease use?  While abstaining from alcohol is great, and will likely result in long-term health benefits, this goal can feel overwhelming for some.  Improving your relationship with alcohol is not a black-and-white issue.  Make your goals achievable and sustainable.  If cutting back on alcohol use doesn’t work (i.e. having “just one drink” always turns into binge drinking), then consider abstinence.     Go to therapy.  Meeting with a therapist is going to help you make reasonable (again, sustainable and achievable) goals, determine your own triggers for excessive alcohol use, and the positive replacement behaviors you can use as needed.  Your therapist will meet you where you are emotionally, and help you confront your excessive alcohol use in a manner that is non-judgmental.    Engage in hobbies and other creative interests.  If you are currently filling your time with activities that involve drinking alcohol, ask yourself what other hobbies interested you in the past or you have always wanted to try but just haven’t gotten around to yet.     Focus on caring for your basic needs.  If you start paying attention to other aspects of your physical health, there is a chance that you might improve your relationship with alcohol along the way.  Set one small goal at a time.  Start with just drinking more water each day.  Then start taking daily walks.  Next, pay attention to the quality and quantity of sleep you are getting each night.     Practice mindful alcohol use.  To begin the practice of drinking more mindfully, first pay attention to the function, or the ‘why?’ of your drinking.  Often times, when individuals are engaging in alcohol use, they are doing so while on kind of an “auto-pilot.”  Instead, practice being fully present and slowly savoring each drink.  This is another skill that a therapist can help you master.    

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