Struggling to Achieve Self-Love? Here’s How Diet Talk Negatively Impacts Our Mental Health
Stop the diet talk and start healing.
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Here’s What a Healthy Relationship with Food Looks Like
We all want a healthy and balanced relationship with food and our diet. But what does that look like exactly? It’s hard to see what balance looks like among fad diets and the latest food trends. Here’s some markers of a healthy relationship with food. A healthy relationship with food should be balanced and flexible. We all aim for a healthy diet, and a healthy diet encompasses many different foods and every treats from time to time. Your body is resilient, and having a doughnut or some chips once in a while will not ruin a diet or harm your health over the long-term. Try to avoid thinking about foods as good or bad (or clean vs. dirty). Foods are foods. Nourish your body and treat it once in a while to an indulgence. Your thoughts about food should not take up too much ‘mind-space.’ Your thoughts should not center only on food or exercise. This could be a sign of obsessiveness, or a sign that food is being a placeholder for other, larger, anxieties. You should be able to plan your meal, and then move on to think about other things. You should not berate yourself for food choices. Talk to yourself like you would a friend or loved one. You wouldn’t call them names for what they ate over the lunch break, and neither should you. If you really feel like you need to improve your diet, talk to yourself with compassion and support, and get some great advice from a Dietician. If you find yourself with very negative self-talk, seek out a therapist to change these habits. Your chosen diet should not interfere with other valued activities, or get in the way of relationships. If you find yourself skipping social outings, or stressing over thanksgiving with your family, this is a sign of being too focused on food. Relationships and having fun are crucial to your mental health. They are nourishment for your mind (and your soul). Don’t let the aim of a perfect or ‘pure’ diet take away from your mental health. You should not pin your self-worth on your diet, or feel superior to others because your diet is more ‘pure’ or ‘clean.’ You are not your diet. If you find yourself thinking of yourself (and others) in terms of how good or bad their food choices are, take a step back and perhaps talk to a therapist about this. It’s important to cultivate your self-worth based on your character, relationships, valued work, and personal goals rather than how strictly you can stick to the diet of the moment. If you feel like you are out of balance with food, or want to talk with someone further about how you feel, you can always contact us for a free consultation.
The Denver Health Trend that Leaves Us All Hating Our Bodies
Denver is an amazing city. I love it, and you probably do too. Ever since I moved here in 2009 I’ve made the Mile High City my home. I initially loved the focus on health, exercise, and outdoor activities. But over the years working with my clients at Thrive Counseling, I’ve noticed a trend that, as a therapist, I’m not too happy with. This focus on being healthy has morphed into an intense (and sometimes unhealthy) focus on exercise and activities and the need to “fit in” in Denver, which for a lot of my clients means “having the perfect body.” My husband and I joke to each other that in Denver or the surrounding mountains there is always someone “more extreme” than you. Last week I was out hiking, enjoying the mountains, and generally feeling good about myself. I felt like I was getting some good exercise in, and I gave myself a mental pat on the back about it. “Look at me” I thought, “I’m hiking up a mountain at 8am on a Sunday, go me!.” Then the inevitable happens. “On your left!” I hear from behind me. A kick-ass woman at least 20 years older than I am runs by me. I was huffing and puffing just walking up this incline, and she’s running past me. I felt the wind fall out of my sails, and started to compare myself to her. Here she was, leaving me in the dust. My friends have had this feeling too. If you think you’re doing well with your own exercise goals, there’s always someone else on the trail, in the gym, or on their yoga mat that is much more advanced than you. Comparison happens everywhere of course, but it seems like Denver is a hyper-competitive city in terms of exercise and body image. So What’s Up With Denver and Body Image? Colorado has long ranked as the top or nearly the top healthiest state in the union. It has nearly the lowest average BMI in the nation and ranks high in measures of well-being. But there’s another story hiding in these stats: the focus on health, especially in the Denver Metro Area, can lead to poor body image, eating disorders and a general sense not never being “enough.” My clients tell me all about this. They can never do enough yoga, run enough Warrior Dashes, climb enough 14-ers, ski enough power days, or feel good enough in their skin. At CU Boulder, female students report triple the rates of eating disorders over the national average. Male students report double the national average. Among Colorado teens, the rate of eating disorders is the fifth highest in the nation. Is It Unhealthy to be Ultra-Focused on Health? Actually, it can be. If a focus on health goes overboard, it can grow into an eating disorder. What is more likely, however, is a particular way of relating to food and exercise known as Orthorexia. It literally means a fixation on “righteous eating.” Someone with Orthorexia is so obsessed with healthy eating, they try to achieve a state of purity via organic vegetables or Chia-seed-laced drinks. They can fall for fad diets, hard. They feel anxiety-ridden and guilty about eating anything that they might consider unhealthy. They exercise in a rigid and sometimes extreme manner. Although eventually people’s health suffers from this approach to ‘healthy eating’, what usually suffers first is friendships and social life. It’s very hard to connect with someone who is rigid around food, and perhaps judges your ‘non-pure’ diet. Clients tell me about the pressure in Denver to fit in, and fitting in here can revolve around food, exercise, and having “a perfect body.” A 28 year-old engineer was in my office yesterday and said: “The perfect Denver girl is doing yoga all the time, and hiking, and making protein smoothies. It’s just so intense out here. Sometimes I think I’m doing well and then see my friend post about their 3-hour hot yoga session and I feel bad all over again.” How To Love Your Body in Denver My advice to clients who want to move past body issues is to start with small steps. First, acknowledge that you live in a bit of a pressure-cooker when it comes to body image. Give yourself some grace when you feel like you don’t “measure up.” Then gently challenge your own assumptions. Do you really believe that eating in a certain way is morally better than another way? Do you like everyone “should” be able to do two Warrior Dashes in one weekend, at altitude no less? Do you have reasonable expectations for yourself, or are those expectations not compatible with a balanced life? After you have gained some insight, then take action. If you’ve fallen into a rigid way of eating, go get a meal that’s a little outside your comfort zone. Or if you feel a cold coming on, allow yourself to skip that CrossFit class. Finally, it’s okay to reach out for help. A counselor or Dietician can help you feel out what’s reasonable and what may be too extreme in terms of eating and exercise. Denver, keep being awesome, and keep loving yourselves!
Is Exercising Too Much a Sign of an Eating Disorder?
Exercise is good, right? Exercise lifts our mood, makes us healthy, gives us energy…what can be bad? I’m often asked when is exercise too much? Can it be a sign of an eating disorder? The answer is “yes”, it can be a sign of a eating disorder, and sometimes it’s a fine line between a healthy habit and a dependency on exercise to control weight in an unhealthy way or cope with difficult thoughts and feelings. Here’s how to tell the difference: What is your intention with the exercise? When exercise is part of an eating disorder, the intention around exercise matters. If your intention is to lift your mood, revel in moving your body around, develop a great habit, clear your mind, and work on fitness goals than by all means, sweat away. If, on the other hand, the exercise is a punishment for perceived over-eating, or feels like a sacrifice you have to make to the voice in your head telling you that you’re fat/ugly/worhtless/whatever, well that’s a different thing entirely. If the intention of the exercise is punishing or placating something judgmental, then that is a sign of a disorder. Is your exercise habit too rigid? We all want to cultivate healthy habits for ourselves. Sometimes, exercise does feel like a chore, but we do it for our health and to keep up a good habit. But if exercise becomes so rigid that it interferes with other valued areas of your life, it may be time to look at this. For example, if you can’t skip a workout to do something fun with your friends, or connect with a partner, or complete an important task, then that is leading down an unhealthy road. If you feel like your day will be “ruined” if you work out in the evening rather than the morning, that’s rigid in an unhealthy way. Has the exercise become an addition? Exercise can become an unhealthy addiction. This happens when you exercise so much it’s unhealthy for your body and you are not re-fueling properly, or resting when your body tells you it needs rest. If you are dependent on exercise to keep anxiety, depression, or eating disorder-related thoughts at bay, it may be time to get some other tools handy to deal with these things. This doesn’t mean to never exercise again, of course. When we work with clients around this issue, it’s always about putting exercise in its proper place; part of a healthy lifestyle, but not the central piece of your self-image and self-esteem.
3 Things That Might Surprise You About Eating Disorders
Illnesses can be scary because we don’t know what’s going on in our bodies or head. There’s nothing wrong with fearing an issue, and many times the more you know about the issue or illness, the easier it can be for you to meet the challenge of conquering it. This includes both bodily and mental illnesses. Mental illnesses like eating disorders can be so frightening because you don’t know why you’re feeling the way you do. There’s plenty of misinformation out there about eating disorders so to shed light on the problem, let’s examine 3 things you didn’t know about eating disorders. 3 Things You Didn’t Know About Eating Disorders Eating Disorders Can Happen to Everyone It’s easy to think of eating disorders as confined to runway models but eating disorders affect a wide variety of people. Eating disorders don’t care if you were raised poor, or rich, what color your skin, what your weight is, they can strike anyone, anywhere. If you’ve been arguing with yourself, “An eating disorder can’t happen to me!” Think again. There are Many Types of Eating Disorders There are several types of eating disorders out there and they all can present different symptoms. Binging and purging are the most widely-known of eating disorders but eating disorders can also show symptoms in midnight snacking, body image issues, self-esteem issues, the consumption of non-edible items and more. Eating Disorders Can Be Helped The good news is that even the worst of eating disorders can be helped if those suffering seek help. There are many different therapies and strategies to help eating disorders including self-help, counseling sessions, group therapy, inpatient and outpatient rehabilitative services and more. If you or someone you know may be suffering from an eating disorder, just know help is readily available. It can be tough to cut through the clutter, especially when it comes to mental illness, but it’s important to have the facts. When it comes to eating disorders, know that they can happen to anyone, can present in a wide range of symptoms, but they can be helped. If you or someone you know is worried about a potential eating disorder, time lost is dangerous so have them contact a therapist, counselor, of other eating disorder resource today to get the help they need.