August 2018 - Thrive Counseling

Blog Archives

Four Sneaky Signs of Depression

4 sneaky signs of depression you might be overlooking Depression is a very common mental health issue. At any given time, estimates are that 5-6% of adults in the US have Depression or are in a Depressive Episode (which is a period of time that someone experiences Depression). The traditional and most obvious signs of depression are pretty well known, and those include: Feeling sad most of the day Crying spells Feeling ‘down’ and hopeless Suicidal thoughts (sometimes, some people do not experience this in Depression) But there are some other signs of Depression that are easy to miss, and may fly under-the-radar. Feeling ‘Slowed Down’ both Physically and Mentally A feeling of being ‘slowed down’ is really common for people experiencing Depression. Clients often say that they feel like are moving in slow motion, or feel like they are stuck in quicksand. It’s not only physical, but mental too. When you’re in a period of Depression, it feels like your brain is also slowed down. It’s common to feel not as ‘sharp’ as usual, or have difficulty remembering things. In cases of severe Depression, others might notice that ever your speech is a little slowed down. Sometimes it’s referred to as “brain fog” or people feel that they are perpetually in a haze. The good news is that, as Depression is treated, these symptoms go away and you begin to think and feel more like your normal self. Sleeping Too Much Sleep in great, and often we don’t get enough of it. But when in a Depressive episode, one sneaky sign is sleeping too much. This means sleeping much more than you usually would. If you notice yourself sleeping more, or taking naps when you never did before, it could be a sign of Depression. If you’re not sure whether your sleep is a sign of Depression, here are some helpful things to do: Keep a Sleep Log so you can notice trends in your sleep Evaluate your diet to make sure you are eating enough and eating well to give yourself energy; tiredness could be due to a poor diet Keep an alarm and get out of bed at the same time each day, to get your body into a healthy sleeping rhythm Consider cutting out alcohol for a few weeks to see if your sleep improves; alcohol can cause sleepiness and disrupt natural sleep patterns. If you do all these things and still are over-sleeping, get an evaluation by a therapist for Depression. Not Enjoying Things Anymore A very common sign of depression that is sometimes hard detect is call anhedonia. That’s the clinical term for losing interest and pleasure in every day activities. It’s a kind of grayness that settles over your whole life. Things you used to enjoy like your favorite foods, spending time with friends, activities and hobbies, even sex, just seem kind of ‘blah.’ You feel like you would take it or leave it. Researchers believe that a Depressed brain is not responding in the normal way to pleasurable stimuli. It’s a terrible feeling, to be in your life and simply not enjoying anything. The insidious thing about anhedonia is that is creates a vicious cycle in the Depressed person. Since you aren’t’ enjoying these things, you’re less likely to do them (which makes sense). But a result is that people in the grips of Depression begin to retreat from the world and from their lives. They lose friendships and lose touch with activities and hobbies that they used to care about. You get farther and farther from ‘who I am’ and Depression can become a kind of identity. This symptom does vastly improve with Depression treatment, and people re-enter their lives and do things again. But this sign is often overlooked. If you’re finding yourself feeling very ‘blah’ about your life, be curious about that and talk to a therapist about these feelings. Poor Attention Span Similar to the ‘slowed down’ feeling in your brain with depression, another cognitive effect is having a poor attention span. Depression affects the parts of your brain that control what’s called ‘executive functions.’ The executive functions of the brain are things like organizing information, prioritizing tasks, creating an order for doing things, and paying attention to important stimuli. For reasons that researchers don’t quite understand, these executive functions take a big hit during a Depressive episode. The one that’s easiest to ‘see’ on the outside is attention. We can all get distracted, and we live in an environment where is it very hard to concentrate. But if Depression is present, you may notice your attention space take a dive. It’s harder to complete tasks at work, or watch a movie, or even have a conversation without getting distracted or losing the thread of the plot or the conversation. If any of these sneaky Depression signs are creeping up on you, pay attention and check in with yourself. You may want to get an evaluate for clinical Depression. Depression is very treatable, and the sooner you catch it the easier it is to get back to being yourself. Contact Us anytime for a free consultation.

In Denver and Colorado, the Suicide Rate is One of the Highest in the US

It’s been a building trend, but it’s definitely here. Colorado and Denver residents are not happy that we’re among the leaders in the nation for suicide. Overall, the Mountain States lead the entire country in suicide. According to the Colorado Health Institute, Colorado’s suicide rate reached an all-time high in 2016, and it hasn’t retreated much since then. In 2016 a record 1,156 people died tragically to suicide. Suicide is most common in the age group of 24-55 year-olds, and men are twice as likely to die by suicide as women are (although there is evidence that women feel suicidal at the same rate as men, and are just as likely to make an attempt or a gesture at suicide). What is really alarming is that the leading cause of death for Coloradans aged 10 to 24 is suicide. That’s right, suicide beats out illness and accidents as the leading cause of death. Colorado has the ninth-highest suicide rate in the entire country, coming in at 20.5 suicides per 100,000 residents. And how does Denver and the surrounding area stack up the with rest of the state? It’s about in the middle. The suicide rate for Denver county and the surrounding metro area ranges from 16.8-17.5 deaths per 100,000 residents. By contrast, the highest suicide rate is Mesa County, with 34.7 suicides per 100,000 residents. The Eastern part of the state and the Mountain counties like Eagle and Pitkin have a lower suicide rate than Denver. In our counseling office, clients speak openly about thoughts of suicide, and what is means to them. One very common factor in people that attempt suicide is that they feel incredibly alone and isolated. Many are scared to tell loved ones that they feel this way. They often feel embarrassed or ashamed of their feelings and thoughts, even though it’s very common to go through a period in your life of entertaining the thought of suicide, especially if you are dealing with depression, anxiety, loss or hopelessness. In counseling, often clients are able to open up for the first time about these thoughts and feelings, get real help, and move past these thoughts towards hope and feeling invested in their lives again. It’s amazing how just saying the words out loud of what you really think and feel can take away the loneliness, hopelessness, and shame of feeling suicidal. Since suicide is such an issue in Denver and Colorado, there are resources for anyone to access (counseling, hotlines, walk-in clinics, and other resources). Even if you feel like you might not be in a crisis, reaching out for help before you are in an emergency is important, and people are standing by to help. Here’s some resources for the Denver Area: If you are in crisis, call the Colorado Crisis & Support Line at 1-844-493-TALK (8255) to connect with a trained counselor in your area. Or reach the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to anyone. All calls are confidential. There are Walk-In clinics scattered throughout the Denver Metro Area that are open 24/7 if you want to talk to someone in person. Find them at www.coloradocrisisservices.org. And as always, you can Contact Us here at Thrive Counseling. We’re here to listen.

It’s Hard To Make Friends After College: Here’s How

Let’s face it: It’s really hard to make friends after college I remember making insta-friends in High School and College. It seemed so easy back then, didn’t it? You were thrown together with people your own age with generally few time commitments. You serendipitously run into your friends on campus, in classrooms, or at parties. It really seemed like everyone was in the same boat and was so relatable. Then you graduate and it gets so much harder to make (and keep) deep and satisfying friendships. Why is that and what can we do about it? “I’m just so busy right now!” One reason that it’s more difficult to make new friends and keep old ones is simply a fact of time (and its corollary, energy). It’s often a difficult transition to make the jump from a full-time student to a full-time worker; throw in a commute and possibly long hours as you begin to climb the corporate ladder and it’s even more of a wake-up call. Everyone you know would really love to hang out, but is just so busy. Creating time for friends takes effort and intention, and there no boss telling you to do it, so often it fades into the background. In addition, everyone needs some time to decompress from work and for the introverts of the world they want to do this alone. This is critical “me time” for mental health and self-care, but it does cut into would-be friend time. Life moves us in different directions As everyone grows older, their paths diverge in many different ways. People take different career paths, move to different cities and towns, get married, and have children (or not). All of this is healthy, and a part of making your own life. However, these paths may take you further away from old friends and make it more difficult to meet people that didn’t take the same path you did. “Growing apart” is a cliché in romantic relationships, but it’s a true one and it applies to friendships as well. With different life paths comes different experiences and oftentimes different worldviews, priorities, and preferences. If you feel you can’t relate to your friend anymore (and they to you), it’s difficult to put the effort into staying close and staying in touch. It’s vulnerable and awkward to meet new people Making a new friend is hard. One some level, you are saying to a new person “let’s hang out.” Since spontaneous interaction is harder to come by (people no longer just show up to the same parties weekend after weekend), you have to make a plan to meet up with someone. It can be uncomfortable and awkward to do so, because our culture tells us that we should magically be surrounded by friends at all times, and if we’re lonely for feel left out it’s because we did something wrong. On social media, people post most often that they are with other people, rather than alone. So it’s easy to feel like everyone has friends except for you. Matchmaking for Two Once people couple up, it can get even more difficult. You really want the respective boyfriends or girlfriends to get along, and sometime they just don’t hit it off. Making “couple friends” is even more tricky than making new friends in general. So if you’re significant other doesn’t hit it off with your new friend’s significant other, don’t sweat it. Make it a point to hang out one-on-one with our new pal. Getting Pickier As we get older, our priorities begin to shift away from novelty-seeking to towards security and stability. This differs from person to person, but overall, studies show that this gradual shift begins to happen in the late 20s. We tend to seek stability and enjoy security more and more, and we seek this out in our careers, where we live, who we date, and also who we cultivate as friends. All of this means that as we get older, we tend to get pickier about friends. New friends have a higher standard for us, and we tend to “prune” existing friendships; we tend to let fade away those friendships that aren’t as fulfilling to us. So, how do you make friends after college? Given that it’s more difficult to make friends after college, havng a few new strategies under your belt can help you find your new tribe Get involved in the activities your love-with others There’s meetup groups for every interest under the sun. If you’re into politics or activism, seek out your local political party chapter. Join a sports league is you love sports, a trivia league if you love arcane knowledge, join a homebrewing class if you’re into beer. You get the idea. If get yourself out there to participate in activities, at least you know that others are into that thing too, and you can go from there to create a new friendship. Don’t let your ego get in the way If you’re in a new city, or just looking to meet new friends, don’t feel ashamed of that and say so to others. It can feel awkward, but it’s ok to lead with some vulnerability here and state that you’re looking to meet new friends. Here’s a sample script you can use: I’m new in town and love soccer, so I joined this soccer league. Honestly, I’m looking for new friends to hang out with and I know this sounds kind of awkward, but would you like to grab a beer sometime with me? It’s okay to compartmentalize In High School and College, it’s normal to do everything with your friends. But as we all get older, have divergent interests and limited time, it’s ok for have friends for specific purposes or activities. You might have the friend you discuss books with, friends you go camping with, your co-worker friends for happy hour, and a workout friend. You’re not type-casting, your seeing how you connect with certain friends and