What is Social Anxiety? Social anxiety can simply be defined as the fear of social situations. It is a mental health condition that manifests in the form of fear of social interaction. Sufferers are often too conscious of other people around them, and feel vulnerable in an irrational manner. They are afraid of being judged or evaluated negatively and this result to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, self-consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression. For individuals that have social anxiety, finding a partner can be one of the most difficult things in life. It is quite uncomfortable for them to interact in a social setting and when it comes to interactions that have the potentials of resulting in relationships, their distress reaches a whole new level. This is often devastating and make many give up the idea of having a boyfriend or a girlfriend at all. This shouldn’t be the case, however. There are ways to overcome social anxiety and increase your chances of finding a partner. Here’s three strategies that can help. Try Less-Stressful Environments While it is advisable to try to move out of your comfort zone and meet new people, it is essential that you avoid places that promote too much social behaviour like bars, clubs, and big parties. In most instances, such environments do not produce the kind of energy needed to overcome your social anxiety. In fact, they increase your stress level and heighten your anxiety. Try low-key environments with smaller groups. Groups that promote shared interest (like book clubs) can be the ideal place to socialize and meet new people. Also try taking a class or joining a Meetup group for an activity that you like. Although it will probably still be stressful to be socializing, it will be in a smaller group and focused on an activity, rather than focused simply on socializing. Play It Safe While it might be tempting to make the first impression while meeting new people, it is always easier to play it safe to avoid further stress. You may feel having a new hairstyle and trying out some new makeup will enhance your appearance and appeal to a potential girlfriend or boyfriend, but this can easily backfire. Such new attempts can get you easily worried and ruin your chances of relaxing and speaking naturally. Instead of trying something new, go for whatever you are used to that makes you comfortable. This is the best way to beat stress and stay confident. Control Your Panic When You Meet People When you finally get the chance to meet new people, you may panic, but do not be too mindful of it. There are physical signs that may indicate that you are about to give in to your anxiety such as light-headedness, rapid heartbeat and sweating. Once you notice these signs, try the best you can to relax while maintaining a smile. Deep breathing is often a good way to keep your physical symptoms in check and overcome social anxiety. Learn how to breathe deep; it is quite helpful in handling the symptoms when they come. Social anxiety can be a major problem but it shouldn’t stop you from finding a partner and enjoying a great relationship. There are things you can do to manage the condition. You can also speak to a therapist to help you out. Counselling has been found to be beneficial to several individuals and can be your best option at finding a lasting solution to your social anxiety.

When you have Social Anxiety, meeting new people is always a challenge. Going out and mingling can feel like a minefield. Some people think those with Social Anxiety are naturally introverts or not interested in making friends and finding partners, but that can’t be further from the truth. One of my clients with Social Anxiety said to me the other day: I desperately want to find a partner, but how can I do that if I have Social Anxiety. I want to connect with people, but I just get so nervous I end up leaving and going home. Even online dating needs me to meet them in person at some point. Where can I wade into being social in Denver? Everyone seems to already know everyone here. I feel so lonely. A lot of people can relate. Social Anxiety is actually really common. Even if someone doesn’t struggle with Social Anxiety over their entire lives, its’ not uncommon to have a period in your life where being social just freaks you out. It’s especially difficult in Denver. Denver is a social place. People like to get outside, mingle, drink their craft beers, and marvel at each other’s adorable dogs. If you do have Social Anxiety, there are some great places to go in Denver and some strategies to ease into it so you’re not overwhelmed. Here’s some tips and places to go: Go somewhere that has an activity to focus on. This takes and pressure off and gives you something to talk about with others. It’s not all eye contact, all the time. If you have Social Anxiety, you know that eye contact can be something to raise your anxiety. So having something else to focus on while being social is a great idea. Here’s some places to go in Denver to do social activities: Paint-and-Sip. These public art studios provide all the art supplies and walk you through making a painting. They usually provide wine to sip while you paint and socialize. Cooking Classes at the Cook Street School. Taking a cooking class with others gives you something delicious to focus on while you meet other foodies. Organized Hikes with REI. Denver loves REI. They lead organized hikes that you can join and meet others who love the outdoors. Join a Team to give yourself structure. Social sports are huge in Denver, and they are really fun. These sports leagues are usually relaxed and non competitive. It gives you something to focus on while chatting with others. As a bonus for those with Social Anxiety, the league provides you with structure. The games are set in advance, and you’re already committed to you team, so this gives you some extra motivation to show up and interact with others. Here’s some great sports leagues in Denver you can join: KIFAC is a really fun league for kickball in Denver (bonus: they usually provide beer to drink while you play) Volleyball of the Rockies. Ever been to Wash Park and seen miles of volleyball nets? That’s VOTR. Play Mile High. They organize lots of different sports around the city. Tap into your altruism and volunteer. Research shows that Social Anxiety goes down in situations where you are focused on others, rather than internally freaking out that you just said something stupid. Volunteering is a great way to leverage this if you have Social Anxiety. You get out to meet others, but there’s a mission behind it and while you’re feeling good about giving back, your mind isn’t focusing too much on your own anxiety. You’ll also likely meet other caring, great people at your volunteer event. Here in Denver, there’s a wonderful organization called Project Helping that organizes volunteer activities. Thrive Counseling and Project Helping partner up all the time to promote both volunteerism and mental health wellness.