May is Mental Health Awareness month and our therapists are sharing the mental health strategies that they most often share with clients, and also use in their every day lives.

Struggling to Fall Asleep?  Here Are Some Things to Consider By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Determine whether there are any underlying mental health issues.   Are you struggling to fall asleep because you are experiencing excessive worry about the next day?  Or maybe you are experiencing physical symptoms such as a racing heartbeat, chest pains, or stomach aches.  Another common reason people wake up in the middle of the night is because they have frequent nightmares that get their adrenaline rushing and make it difficult to fall back asleep.   If you think that you might be experiencing symptoms of anxiety or panic, see a therapist.  They will be able to diagnose any underlying mental health issues that are impeding your sleep, as well as give you coping skills to help reduce these negative symptoms and improve your functioning.   Have realistic expectations.  If you have struggled with getting good sleep since childhood, it is not likely that you are now going to become a great sleeper (not impossible, but not likely).  But that does not mean that there are not improvements to be made.  Just be sure that the goals you set for improving the quality and quantity of sleep are realistic.   For example: Liz has always struggled to get her body to sleep more than 6 hours.  As soon as her body begins to wake up and the sun is out, she starts having thoughts about what she needs to get done that day, which prevent her from falling back asleep—even if her alarm isn’t set to go off for three more hours.  But while tracking her sleep patterns, Liz noticed that if she gets herself in bed earlier at night, and writes her “to-do” list for the next day before she falls asleep, she can usually get at least an hour more of good quality sleep.   Assess for possible impact of substance use on your sleep.  Make sure that you are not drinking caffeine past a certain time (two p.m. is usually a good cut off).   Don’t have a big meal too close to bed, as this can create some physical discomfort that might prevent you from sleeping.   If getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is barrier to good sleep, decrease all fluids a few hours leading up to bed.   Alcohol and certain drugs are a depressant, which means they might make you feel sleepy and even ‘help’ you fall asleep, but what they are doing is sedating you.  If you are going to bed sedated, you are likely not going into the deepest and most important phase of sleep: the REM cycle.  That means that you could be asleep for nine hours and still wake up feeling groggy.   Take an honest look at your screen time.   Shoot for no screens (TV, phone, computer, tablet) at least an hour before bed.  Some people have trained their brains to need something, such as a TV, on in the background while they fall asleep.  This background noise might can also prevent you from reaching the REM cycle.  Try reading or listening to a guided meditation instead. Create good habits.  During the day: try your hardest to get as much physical movement in your daily routine.  Don’t spend time in your bed throughout the day; wait until bedtime.  Also, no naps!   At night: Start winding down at least one hour before you want to fall asleep.  Try things that help calm your body and brain down such as taking a warm shower or writing three things that you accomplished that day.   Maintain a healthy nighttime routine.  Don’t expect all of these things to be helpful on the first go around.  But once you find a healthy nighttime routine, do those things consistently, even if it at first does not seem as though they are helping.   Try not to stress.   I know that this one is easier said than done.  But if you are consistently doing the things discussed above and continue to struggle with falling or staying asleep, try to avoid catastrophizing.  Instead of looking at the clock every half hour and counting down how little time you have to fall asleep before you need to get up for work, tell yourself something like: “The worst that is going to happen is that I am going to be tired tomorrow.  That will not be an enjoyable experience, but I will get through the day and then possibly sleep better that night.”  

Are you Sabotaging Your Own Happiness? By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Are you wondering why you feel okay, but not as good as you want to feel?  Maybe you are able to go to work and do things throughout the day, but just feel ‘blah.’  Are there goals in your life that you have yet to accomplish and can’t figure out why?  Here are 10 ways that you may be sabotaging your own happiness and overall mental health and functioning, without even realizing.   Not caring for your body’s basic needs   If you are not physiologically ‘okay,’ you are not going to be mentally okay and/or functioning at your best.  If you are noticing that you are lacking energy, are struggling to concentrate, or just feel as though your mood is not where it could be, check in with yourself about the quality and quantity of your sleep, as well as your food and water intake.  Seven to nine hours of sleep is optimal and very few people are functioning at their best with less sleep than that.  If you are struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep, determine whether there are ways that your sleep hygiene can be improved.   If you are not eating enough whole foods (i.e.: there are too many beige things on your plate), or you are restricting yourself to too few calories per day, chances are you are going to at the very least experience some brain fog.   Water.  That’s all, just drink water.  There are too many benefits to list here, but to be more specific, most experts say that you should divide your weight in half and drink at least that many ounces of water each day (for example, if you weight 200 pounds, drink 100 ounces).  If you don’t like water, try adding fruit or a squirt of a flavor enhancer.   Taking in damaging content on social media Take a good hard look at who and what you are following (i.e.: exposing yourself to each day).  Content doesn’t need to be negative to be considered damaging to your self-esteem and overall mood.  For example, maybe there is a friend that posts perfectly posed pictures of her family on expensive vacations and you notice that after seeing this, you don’t feel great about your own life, body, job, etc.  You don’t have to unfollow her, but you can ‘mute’ her content so that it doesn’t appear in your feed.   Far too often we compare the way we look to images we see in the media.  But these perfect looking images are most often photoshopped and unattainable in real life.  Look for places on the internet that “keep it real,” such as body, parenting, and mental health positivity accounts.   Not moving your body every day. Find a type of movement that matches your personality and lifestyle.  This can be as intense as a HIIT class or as low impact as taking a 30 minute walk each day.   Keeping harmful people in your life.   If you feel more bad than you do good in any type of relationship, it is time to assess whether you should either set more firm boundaries, or end that relationship altogether.  Talk to a therapist if you are not sure about how to do those things.   Holding thing in If you are struggling with something such as the death of a loved one, a traumatic experience, or symptoms of mental illness, it is not in your best interest to bottle up your thoughts and feelings.  Making a practice out of writing in a journal can be helpful, but you may also need to process with a friend or trained counselor.   Buying into thoughts that hold you back   First ask yourself this: what are my goals?  Maybe you want to be in a happy and loving long-term relationship.  Or maybe you want to get a better job.  Now ask yourself this: what thoughts about myself (or others) come up when I think about that goal?  If you are buying into thoughts, such as: “I’m not attractive enough to find a partner,” or “I will never find a job that I like,” you are most likely holding yourself back from making advances toward your goals, regardless of external factors.   Not practicing mindfulness   Too many of us are book-ending our day with our phone in front of our face.  Instead, try waking up in the morning and getting ready for bed a bit earlier so that you can implement some mindfulness techniques.  For example, in the morning, try writing what you are grateful for while you sip your coffee.  Or do some slow yoga poses after you get out of bed.  During the day, find time to take a walk with no distractions and just observe nature.  At night, read for a while and then listen to a guided meditation.   You are overscheduled It’s good to have structure, but you also need some downtime where you can let your body and mind take a break.  It is okay to not be productive for some time each day and allow yourself to watch your favorite show or do a puzzle.   You isolate from others Alone time can be great, but even the most introverted people usually need some human connection.  If you struggle with social anxiety, push yourself to be around others.  This can be dinner with a friend or even just sitting in a coffee shop and making eye contact and smiling at the other patrons.  The more you avoid human connection, the more you will feel anxious about it.   This is no structure in your day Daily routines are wonderful for our mental health.  If you have a 9-to-5 job, find morning and evening routines that work for you and stick with them.  If you do not have a work schedule set for you by someone else, you need to create a bit more structure for yourself.  Before you fully start your morning, just make a list of a

10 Things to Try Right Now if You Are Struggling After the Death of a Loved One By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Grieving is just one of those human experiences where we have no idea how it feels until we are there.  In addition, we live in a society that often fosters what Claire Bidwell Smith calls “an unsympathetic grief culture.”  What this looks like for the person grieving is a feeling of not wanting to burden others with their sadness or feeling as though they have a certain amount of time to grieve and then should ‘move on’.  And then on the other side, you have the person who wants to be supportive of the griever but isn’t sure of what the ‘right’ thing to say or do is.  This means that we are paralyzed by these concerns and do nothing—we just hope that things will get better with time.  Doing nothing is actually the worst thing we can do when faced with the task or either grieving or supporting a griever.  David Kessler is a grief expert and recommends trying these 10 things if you are feeling overwhelmed by grief.  If you yourself are not personally grieving, it might be helpful to determine if there are any of these things that you can do with a person you love who is going through the grief process.    Take a Walk Everyday Kessler states that we must symbolically and physically keep moving after someone we love dies.  This can be a short walk, or a longer one, but set the goal for yourself to get outside and walk every day.  We know the physical and chemical benefits of moving our bodies, but it is also important for you to be out and interacting with the world during this time.   Name Three Things You Were Able to Do That Day Before you go to bed, make it a part of your nighttime routine to either write down a list, or say to yourself three things that you were able to do that day.  For example: “I went for a walk, I opened the mail, and I made myself a smoothie.”   Engage With the World When we lose someone, it feels as though the whole world has stopped.  Or maybe it just feels like it should stop.  You just want to scream: “How can you go to a baseball game right now, when my mom is not here anymore?”  Because of this, you must prove to yourself that the world has continued moving and that means you can too.  Engage with the world by reading the newspaper or watching the news for 30 minutes each day.   Send the Person That You Lost Love When in the midst of grief, sometimes our brain decides to do some unhelpful things.  This can look like dwelling on feelings of guilt, thoughts about how the person died, or on painful images of the person you lost before they passed.  When this happens, divert your attention to instead sending that person love.  It doesn’t matter what your beliefs are about the afterlife; when we lose someone with whom we had a deep connection, that connection you have to them doesn’t die just because they are gone.  So take a moment and think to yourself or say out loud: “I am sending you love.”   Distract Yourself It’s okay to take a mental break from it all sometimes.  Do something that is going to distract your mind for a bit, such as watching your favorite movie, reading an engaging book, or taking a nap.   Talk About Your Loss As Kessler says: “grief must be witnessed.”  Call the friend that likes to talk about ‘deep’ things and ask if you can talk about how you are feeling, or share memories about the person you lost.  In addition, therapy is a great space for this.  You will never be a burden on your therapist, no matter how long you need to grieve.   Recognize Something in Your Life That Continues On Try to be mindful of the things around you that continue.  This can be the flower garden planted outside or the other relationships you still have.   Do Something Nice for Yourself Treat yourself to something that feels good.  Depending on your resources, this can be getting a massage, taking a day off from work, going on a weekend trip to the mountains, or getting a haircut.   Write Down Three Things That You Have Always Wanted to Do  What are at least three things that you always wanted to do, but never got the chance before your loved one died?  This can be learning a new hobby, going back to school, or taking a trip to a place you’ve never been.   Do Something for Someone Else It’s okay if it takes a while for you to get to the place where you have the capacity to do this one.  But helping others can be a transformative experience if you are feeling ‘stuck’ in grief.    

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month—Have You Done Your Mental Health Check-up Yet? By: Jessica Taylor, LPC What Is Mental Health Awareness Month?   The month of May is when we try to put even more time and resources into both increasing public awareness around mental health issues, and decreasing the stigma that remains regarding asking for help and seeking treatment for mental illness.  According to the National Institute for Mental Health, approximately one in five adults in the US struggle with a mental illness.  Participating in Mental Health Awareness Month can mean being more mindful about attending to your own mental health, or it can mean reaching out to others in need.   How to Do a Mental Health Check-Up Maintaining a healthy baseline mood is not a “one and done,” but rather an ongoing lifelong process for all of us.  Even if you are do not have mental illness in your family history, life is complex and complicated.  Situational events such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or a cancer diagnosis can result in symptoms of mental illness.  If you are wondering where to start when assessing the status of your own mental health, here are some ideas.  General Mental Health Self-Assessment  Ask yourself these quick questions in order to get a general sense of whether you might be experiencing some symptoms of mental illness such as depression or anxiety.   Have I recently started eating less or more than usual?   How much am I moving my body each day?   Am I using alcohol or any other substances to cope with stress, sadness, etc.?   Am I getting enough sleep? How is the quality of my sleep?   Do I feel excessively tired or fatigued throughout the day, despite getting enough sleep?  Do I feel at ease (not anxious or stressed) when at home and/or in public?   Have I been isolating myself from friends and family?  Am I still engaging in activities that I find to be enjoyable?   Am I able to concentrate when necessary?   Have I been experiencing extreme shifts in my mood?  Am I more angry or irritable lately?   Have I been tearful or crying more than usual?   Have I been having any thoughts of suicide?   Journal About Your Mood Each Day Try taking five minutes at the end of each day to write about what your mood and functioning was like that day.  This way, you can begin to notice any patterns that come up (i.e., “I feel more stressed out on the days that I don’t take my morning walk.”)  You can structure this in whatever way is helpful to you, but here are some ideas:  Where is my mood on a scale from 1-10 today?   How did I feel for most of the day (i.e., calm, sad, angry, stressed, etc.)?   Did anything significant happen today that might have impacted my mood and functioning?   How much water did I drink?  What were my meals like?   Did I move my body today?   How much sleep did I get last night?     How to Reduce the Stigma Around Mental Health and Help Others Share your experience. One of the ways that symptoms of mental illness ‘trick’ us is making us feel alone in our experience.  For example, someone who is experiencing symptoms of depression might think something like: “I can’t tell my friends and family about what I’m going through because they won’t understand and will probably see me as weak.”  If you feel comfortable sharing your experience of mental illness and the steps you are taking to live a happier, more fulfilling life, that might be exactly what someone else needs to hear right now.  The more often people speak about their experiences with mental illness, the less stigma there will be around this issue.   Check-in with loved ones. By now we know that someone can look happy on the ‘outside,’ while experiencing immense suffering internally.  Check-in with friends and family members that you haven’t spoken to in a while by giving them a call or even sending a quick “How are you doing?” text.    

How to Set Goals –And Stick to Them! By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Are there goals that you have been wanting to tackle, but find yourself continually putting them off?  Maybe this is because you fear setting a goal and then failing.  Or sometimes it can be difficult to even know where to begin.  If this is the case for you, here are step-by-step instructions that you can follow to set your goals and stick to them.   Narrow it Down to One Current Desired Outcome First, grab a pen and paper.  Writing things down is the way to start off on the right foot.  Ask yourself: What area of my life am I currently wanting to improve?  Are you wanting to prioritize enhancing your social life?  Or maybe you feel as though you need to get back on track with your physical health and well-being.  Sure, there might be multiple areas in which you want to better yourself, but just pick the most important one first.  Once you start making progress and maintaining good habits there, you can use that momentum to drive you to start accomplishing goals in the next domain of your life.  A sure way to not make progress on your goals is to overwhelm yourself.   Use the SMART Acronym Make sure that your goals are smart!  Use this acronym to make sure that your goals are checking all the boxes that will aid in you finding success in accomplishing them.   Specific. Broad goals contribute to feeling overwhelmed.  Break down a large goal into multiple smaller action steps.  For example, having the goal of traveling more in the year 2022 would require short and medium-term goals for saving money, planning where to go, etc.   Measurable.  This means that there will be specific ways for you to know when you have accomplished your goal.  For example: “I will be attending a Pilates class at least three times each week by June of this year.”  Achievable. Your goals must be in your control. Take getting a new job for example.   Getting hired is out of your control but sending out applications and calling potential employers on a daily basis is within your control.   Relevant. Base your goals on your values, not on what you think your values should be.  Do you actually want to get a new job, or have your friends been telling you that you should get a new job?   Time-bound. Determine a timeline for action steps and a date by which you would like to accomplish your goal.   Determine and Plan for Possible Barriers Be sure to plan for possible external variables that might come up and impact your ability to achieve your goals.  Some of these may be out of your control, forcing you to just ride the wave and do your best.  But other barriers you can plan for. For example, if you plan is to get fit, how will you plan to maintain your goals through the holiday season, when structure is hard to come by?   Know Your Currency Rewarding yourself for accomplishing small action steps along the path toward your goals is a great way to stay on track.  But it is important to think about what rewards are motivating for you specifically.  Here is an example: “After every interview that I complete, I will treat myself to a drink from my favorite cafe.”   Have a Support Person Who Can Help Keep You Accountable This can be a friend, family member, or counselor.  Share your goals with someone you trust and either ask them to join you in activities associated to your goals, or even just ask that they check-in with you periodically about your progress.  Knowing that someone is going to ask you how your goals are going can be the motivation you need to keep going when things get tough.   Don’t Beat Yourself Up “Tough love” is really only motivating for a small percentage of people.  Think about it: when you say mean things to yourself, this makes you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad, do you want to do productive things?  Probably not.  Feeling bad might even be a trigger for engaging in maladaptive behaviors such as using food, drugs, or alcohol to self-medicate.  Or cause you to isolate yourself from the people you care about.  When you are not making the progress toward your goals that you had hoped for, pay attention to the thoughts that your brain is sending you.  If it is saying unhelpful or even harmful things to you, make an effort to remind yourself that buying into those thoughts will not motivate you to make more progress on your goals.  Find thoughts that will help you make progress and buy into those instead.  Here’s an example: “This week was tough, but I am signed up for that hiking group on Monday and am already making steps towards getting back on track.”