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Feeling Overwhelmed About Finding a Therapist? Here Are Some Tips for Getting Started.

By: Jessica Taylor, LPC and Owner of Thrive Counseling Denver Let me guess, you’ve been thinking about seeing a therapist for a while, but you just haven’t made the move yet. Maybe you’ve never been to therapy and the process of finding a good therapist seems overwhelming.  Or maybe you have been to therapy in the past and either feel discouraged by a negative experience or are worried that you won’t find a therapist that you ‘click’ with, like you did with your previous therapist. I get it! I am a therapist and the idea of finding a therapist feels overwhelming, even for me! I often tell the story about how when I was in grad school, I desperately needed a therapist.  My anxiety was out of control.  I found a therapist that seemed like a good fit, and then had her number in my planner for two months before I ever made that call.  When we finally got started, I felt immediate relief in my symptoms of anxiety.  I also felt silly for being so anxious about making that call.  But now I have learned that this experience is all too common. So, if you have been thinking about coming to therapy, I urge you to not wait until the thing that you need support around (symptoms of anxiety, relationship issues, navigating a life transition, etc.) feels out of control.  Therapy works better when we are not in crisis mode. To make things a bit easier for you, I’ve compiled a list of tips that can help you get started in finding the right therapist for you. Where to Start Determine if your health insurance has any mental health benefits. A lot of plans these days don’t, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Just call the number on the back of your card and ask: “Does my plan provide any mental health coverage, for providers in, or out, of my network?” Write down everything they say, so you don’t forget! If you don’t have any mental health benefits through your insurance, determine your monthly budget for therapy. The cost per 50-minute session varies, depending on factors such as where a therapist is located, their specialty, and the amount of experience they have in the field. If you find a therapist that you are interested in, you can check their website for their prices before you even call them. If a therapist doesn’t have their prices on their website (like this!), that seems like a bit of a red flag for me. Therapists should be all about transparency and making this process as seamless as possible for potential clients. Let’s say sessions are $150 each and you can only afford $300 per month right now, just let your therapist know that you can only meet every other week. They should be okay with this, as long as they are not concerned about your safety if you meet less frequently. **Side note: Are you wondering why therapy feels so expensive? I mean, it’s just talking, after all!  This is related to licensed therapists having gone through higher education, paying for additional training each year, and having overhead such as office rent, multiple types of insurance, and computer software to keep client information safe and secure. Know where to look for a therapist. Honestly, just googling things like “best therapists near me” or “anxiety therapists in Denver,” is a great place to start! If you have a friend who has been raving about their therapist, ask them if they feel comfortable giving you their information (please note that the therapist will not be able to discuss that they know you or your friend, in order to protect confidentiality). Psychology Today is also a great resource for finding a therapist in your area! Do your research. If there is a therapist or practice that you are interested in, do your research! Make sure they are located conveniently to your home or office. Make sure they are in your price range. Check out reviews that previous clients have left for them. If you have questions that can’t be answered by their website, then it’s time to give them a call! Here’s how to navigate the initial phone call like a pro. This initial phone call will either be with the therapist themselves or an intake coordinator. If you are calling a group practice and are unsure of which therapist there would be the best match for you, the intake coordinator can help you out with this. At my practice, I match clients with therapists not only based on what is bringing them in (often called the “presenting problem”), but also based on personality. I ask if they have done therapy before, and if so, what worked and what didn’t. I am pretty darn good at matching clients to therapists, but if the client is still hesitant to jump right in and schedule a full intake, then I offer an initial consult call with their potential therapist.  Basically, just to do a vibe check. Get started! I recommend getting scheduled for an intake as soon as you can. If you schedule too far out in advance (more than a few weeks), you are more likely to lose momentum and motivation. There you have it, my tips and tricks for finding the best therapist in your area.  Please know that while the process of finding a therapist can be an overwhelming one, there is nothing more important than investing time and money into your mental health.  You’re worth it. Want help navigating the process in finding an awesome therapist?  I’m happy to help!  Give me a call today and let’s get you to where you want to be.

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Are You a People-Pleaser? Here’s What You Need to Know

By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Are you worried that you might be a people-pleaser?  As a therapist, I know that people-pleasing is something that a lot of people struggle with.  Clients are constantly asking me to help them stop being such a people-pleaser. If you think that you might be a people-pleaser, keep reading to learn about the traits of people-pleasing, how it can negatively impact your life, and how to stop engaging in people-pleasing behaviors. A Few Initial Thoughts on People-Pleasing  First, I kind of despise that term- “people pleasing.”  I think that we need to find a different one.  Maybe I’m alone in this, but I think it has a negative sound to it, when in reality, people-pleasing should not be something considered shameful, as it is so common!  And it actually has some positive aspects to it.  It often means that you care about other people and that you value forming connections with others. But despite all of that, the tendency to people-please does need to be addressed, because people-pleasing ultimately means you are putting yourself completely on the backburner. You are worthy of connections that are not reliant on you putting your needs, emotions, etc. on the side in order to keep other people happy.  And finally, the people who genuinely love and care for you don’t want you to put your needs last.  They want you to speak up and get your needs met and your feelings heard! Are You a People-Pleaser? Are you unsure of whether you even are a people pleaser?  Well, then ask yourself these questions: Do you struggle to say ‘no’ or set appropriate boundaries with others? Are you scared of others being mad at you, or seeing you in a negative light? Do you feel like your needs come after everyone else’s? Do you want everyone to like you, even the people that you don’t like? Do you ruminate or obsess about what others think of you? Are you always saying “sorry” for things, even if they weren’t your fault? Do you feel as though you hide your “true self” because you are worried others won’t like what they see? Do you struggle with low self-esteem, as evidenced by often buying into negative thoughts about yourself? If you answered yes to a lot of these questions, you are probably a people pleaser.  ` How People-Pleasing Can Negatively Impact Your Life There are a lot of negative ways that “people pleasing” can impact our daily functioning, our self-esteem, and mental health. Here are a few of those ways: –You are setting a bad precedent in relationships. –You could get taken advantage of. –It can cause resentments and hurt feelings in your relationships –It will lower your self-esteem. –It can lead to symptoms of anxiety or depression. If You’re a People-Pleaser, What Should You Do About it? You must believe that you CAN stop people-pleasing! Start by repeating after me: “Not everyone needs to like me! Not every single person is my “cup of tea,” so why would I be every single person’s “cup of tea?” Of course, knowing that someone is mad at you, or doesn’t like you is an uncomfortable feeling, but is avoiding that discomfort worth feeling like a doormat? Get real with yourself—explore where the people-pleasing comes from (i.e.: trauma, family systems, low self-esteem) This work is best done with a therapist, because simply put, it can be painful or just kind of hard to do on your own, without an outside perspective. Spend time WITH yourself, not just BY yourself. This can be done by doing things like journaling or meditating about your thoughts and feelings. Find and engage in hobbies that make you feel good and/or challenge you. Write down the personal traits and skills that you want to develop. List the things that you already like about yourself. Say “no” to something and sit with any uncomfortable feelings that come up with that. REPEAT! This takes practice and the urge to people-please may always come up, but if you keep practicing these things, then the people-pleasing behaviors will become less powerful over time. Your self-worth will become more powerful than the urge to people-please. So, there you have it! How to start the process of not being a people-pleaser any longer.  If you feel that you might need help in your journey to stop people-pleasing, therapy is a great place to start.

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sleep hygiene

Are You Struggling with Insomnia? The Problem Might be Your Sleep Hygiene

Jessica Taylor, LPC Why Do So Many of Us Struggle with Sleep? I’m guessing you clicked on this blog post because you are struggling with at least one aspect of sleep.  Falling asleep, staying asleep, or nightmares and vivid dreams waking you up in the middle of the night. Getting enough sleep is essential to our productivity and maintaining good mental health. Yet, statistics show that between 37 and 40 percent of adults report not getting enough sleep, also known as sleep deprivation. Why is that?  Well, when working with my clients, and doing a quick assessment of their sleep hygiene, I almost always immediately notice something they are doing or not doing that is probably hurting their sleep quality or quantity. To improve our sleep, we must first address our sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is defined as the things in our life (like behaviors, habits, and environmental factors) that can be shifted to improve our sleep. Here are the do’s and don’ts of sleep hygiene. And before you hear some of these and say “yeah, duh, those are obvious!” Ask yourself: how any of the do’s am I actually doing and how many of the don’ts am I doing.  You might be surprised by how bad your sleep hygiene is! The Do’s and Don’ts of Sleep Hygiene DO start winding down an hour before you want to go to sleep. DON’T use substances right before bed (these are sedatives and might help us initially pass out, but then we won’t really get good restorative REM sleep.  Or might even wake up in the middle of the night and struggle to fall back asleep.) DO a more boring activity before bed (for you, this might be reading or folding laundry) DON’T exercise close to bedtime. DO monitor your caffeine intake (The general rule is no caffeine after 2 pm.) DON’T take naps throughout the day. DO go to bed at the same time every night. DON’T hang out in your bed all day. DO take a warm shower or bath. DON’T spend time on your phone for the last 30 minutes before the time you want to fall asleep. DO write your to-do list for the next day. DON’T ruminate on things out of your control (write them down and release; tell yourself that you can come back to them the next day, if necessary.) DO say a mantra, do affirmations, or pray. DON’T drink a bunch of water right before bed. DO have a routine. DON’T catastrophize if you can’t fall or stay asleep (Here’s an example of how to do this: “what’s the worst that could happen?  I’ll be tired tomorrow.  That would suck, but I would be okay.”) DO a guided meditation before bed and if you wake up in the middle of the night. DON’T give up after only a short time of trying these do’s and don’ts. Consistency is essential. DO seek help if needed or to rule out a medical issue. DON’T get overwhelmed, just integrate one or two of these into your life each month.   If you feel like something else might be going on, aside from poor sleep hygiene, make sure to check in with your doctor to rule out any underlying medical issues.  If you do that, and are struggling to maintain consistency with sleep hygiene, therapy is a great place to find accountability.  

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Five Things to Consider When Picking a Therapist

By: Jessica Taylor, LPC Have you been considering going to therapy, but you have no idea where to start, or how to pick the right therapist?  If that sounds like you, and you want advice on how to pick the perfect therapist, I’m here to help.  As a licensed therapist, and also someone who has gone to therapy myself, I know that the process of finding a therapist can feel super overwhelming. I also know that you don’t want to waste your time and money on a therapist that just feels…fine.  Or even worse, a therapist that is just totally the wrong fit.  You deserve to find a therapist that feels like the perfect fit! So, here are the five things that I think you NEED to consider when picking a therapist, and also a few warning signs to keep an eye out for. The Five Things to Consider LOGISTICS Location: Make sure that the therapist you choose is close to work, school, or home. Trust me, you do not want to spend time in your car commuting to a therapist every week.  A lot of therapists these days offer telehealth, so if that’s your thing, therapy will always be convenient.  But I find that most people still prefer in-person sessions. The therapist can schedule at the frequency you need: For example, if you want to start off meeting every week (which is typical when first starting therapy), do not commit to a therapist whose calendar is super booked up, and they can only get you in every three weeks. Sometimes it will take a few weeks to get in for that initial intake, but then your therapist should be available weekly. In addition, make sure your therapist can accommodate times that are convenient for you, such as after work if that is necessary. COST Reasonably priced: Therapy is an investment in your mental health, and there is nothing more important, but going broke from therapy isn’t going to do your mental health any favors. Also, the most expensive therapists aren’t necessarily the best therapists! Look around at what different therapists in your area are charging (this differs by geographical location) and maybe try going with someone in the middle of the road (if you can afford it.) In-Network with Insurance: If your insurance plan offers mental health services, try to find a provider in-network with your insurance company. You will need to call your insurance company to see if you even have any MH benefits on your plan (a lot of plans unfortunately do not cover any mental health services.) Out-of-Network with Insurance: One huge benefit of seeing a therapist that is out of network with your insurance is that you and your therapist will determine what your treatment looks like, not an insurance company that knows nothing about you or your mental health. In addition, all your information will be confidential, as your therapist will not be required to release any information to an insurance company to prove that you need services. EXPERIENCE They have experience treating the thing you are going to therapy for: For example, if you are needing therapy for anxiety, you are not going to go to someone who only does couples counseling. The therapist’s website should list their areas of specialization, but feel free to ask them! YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE Therapy is a no judgement zone: You should not feel as though you need to keep things from your therapist for fear of judgment. Sure, it might take you a few sessions to fully warm up to them, but if you are holding back because you are getting weird vibes (or they are perfectly fine, but your personalities don’t mesh), they might not be the best fit. THERAPY CONTINUES TO FEEL BENEFICIAL You ultimately control your course of treatment: Every session might not contain some huge “break through,” but therapy should feel helpful overall.  Please know that if you feel like you have hit the end of the road with a therapist, you can take a break from therapy and/or go looking for a new therapist any time you want. Possible Warning Signs The therapist is not transparent about costs for sessions. You should know this up front.  If they don’t tell you when scheduling, ask! You feel like their values don’t match yours and they might be judging you. They are unwilling to at least have a 15-minute intro call before scheduling an intake session. Your therapist gets defensive when you ask them about their approach as a therapist or where they see therapy with you going. If your therapist doesn’t even mention or ask you about your goals within the first few sessions (some therapists might not see this as a warning sign, but it is for me.) There you have it! The five things that you need to consider when searching for a therapist.  If you have any questions about our therapists, or therapy in general, feel free to give us a call!  We are happy to answer any questions you might have, in order to help make this process feel a bit less overwhelming.

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Tips for Preventing Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Amelia Elkins, LCSW, CAS The process of pregnancy, childbirth, and the fourth trimester is incredible, challenging, and joyful all at once. Making it through pregnancy itself is a beautiful feat, followed by the actual birthing process, and lastly, the wonderings of what the fourth trimester will bring. By now the term postpartum depression is well-known and postpartum anxiety is starting to become better understood. Recognizing symptoms early on is crucial for support. A wide range of emotions are completely normal surrounding all these stages and may include but are certainly not limited to: >Exhaustion >Overly Emotional >Irritable >Hopelessness or feelings of inadequacy >Physical discomfort and managing pain >Nervousness I would argue it would be abnormal to not experience at least three of these during any of these stages. For you to ‘qualify’ for a diagnosis of postpartum depression or anxiety, symptoms should last consistently and longer than 2 weeks, include thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, and are interfering with not only care for your baby but also yourself (more on this here). One of the best things one can do for prevention is to have a plan, discuss the plan with a trusted partner or loved one, and know what to do when the symptoms arise. Here is a list of tools to support and prevent Postpartum Depression & Anxiety: >Leave the house: Whether this means going for a drive with your baby or going for a stroller walk, mixing up your routine is essential to reset and stay connected to the world >Sunlight: Research has proven sunlight exposure for women in postpartum is beneficial in reducing negative mental health symptoms. More on this here. >Do the Basics: Drink water, take vitamins, and eat balanced, healthy meals (frozen meals, gift cards for food, food from friends or coworkers, etc.) >Connection: Research has shown women who have social support are less likely to suffer from postpartum depression. More on this here. Lastly, working with a therapist who specializes in postpartum support is a great way to stay on top of developing symptoms and/or support symptoms. Reach out today to get started.

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Does Driving Long Distances Stress You Out? Here Are Some Things to Consider for Your Next Road Trip

Catherine Sangi, LPC Do you find that you are missing out on events and spending time with loved ones due to the anxiety related to driving? You’re not alone. A recent survey found that about 66% of Americans experience anxiety with driving. Try these 5 tips to lessen your anxiety with regards to having to drive long distances. Know your route Anxiety can come from the fear of the unknown and that includes not knowing where you will be or what turns you will have to make. Colorado provides this online resource where you are able to view up to date road conditions. Prepare a playlist, audiobook, or podcast series to listen to Sometimes anxiety comes on when we feel trapped. Having something to occupy your mind with can be helpful. Plan breaks at certain intervals Having small, attainable goals can reduce our stress levels. Only having to drive for 30 more minutes versus having to drive for 5 more hours is less overwhelming. Come stocked with drinks (non-alcoholic of course), snacks, gum, and mints Emotional support water bottles are great. Be flexible Accept that there might be a traffic jam or a route closure that you will not be aware of. Validate that it is frustrating and know that you will continue to follow your GPS to get to your destination. Let someone know that you’ll be on the road and that you might be calling them Being alone can increase our anxiety and talking on the phone can make us feel less alone. Make sure you’re following the laws with phone regulations! Breath! Don’t forget the tried-and-true coping skill of deep breathing. Deep breathing decreases our stress and increases our calm. Driving can feel overstimulating and overwhelming. Make sure that you are following the laws of the state you are driving in while continuing to use your coping skills. You can also check out this article for affirmations to use while driving.

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Does Going to the Grocery Store Make You Anxious? Here Are Some Tips to Help Shopping Become a Better Experience

Catherine Sangi, LPC Do you avoid, or are you reluctant, to go grocery shopping due to anxiety? The entire grocery shopping experience comes with a ton of sensory input, decision making, and variables that are out of our control. Try these 7 tips and tricks to make your next grocery store experience more manageable and perhaps even enjoyable. Get Prepared Start by making a list of breakfasts, lunches, and dinners you plan to eat over the next week. Next, write out the ingredients you need for the meals. Organize Your List Organize your list by sections of the store: fruits/ veggies dairy/ cheeses meats/ seafood bakery/ bread frozen foods spices/ baking pantry items – pasta/ rice/ canned goods Choose Your Shopping Time Wisely Google Maps released an article in 2020 highlighting that Saturdays 12PM-3PM tend to be the busiest shopping time while Mondays at 8AM are the least busy. Of course, all stores are different and there’s no way to predict the store’s occupancy at any given time, but you can follow the trends. Be Mindful About Which Grocery Store You Choose You know those grocery stores that have narrow aisles, bright fluorescence lights, only big shopping carts, and stockers at all hours of the day blocking the shelf you need to get to? This could be a recipe for sensory overload. It may be difficult to find a store that checks all of your boxes for a peaceful sensory experience but decide which are the most important to you and pick your grocery store based on those factors. Focus On The Senses You Can Control Chewing on gum, using headphones, and wearing your most comfortable hoodie are modifications you have control over. A more in-depth sensory diet before, or after shopping could also help with our self-care. Check out this article to understand different ways to implement a sensory diet. Prepare yourself for small talk at check-out Self check-out can be great to avoid human interaction If self check-out isn’t an option, try to remember that even if you feel awkward interacting with others, they likely don’t even notice because they are focused on their own concerns. Reward Yourself! You did it! You survived the grocery store. Now reward yourself with your favorite coffee, ice cream, take-out, etc.! Having something to look forward to throughout the shopping experience can also make it easier to get through.  

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Trying to Get Back into the Dating Game? Here Are Some Things to Consider When Picking a Dating App

Amelia Elkins, LCSW, CAS In 2023, choosing your dating app is like choosing your drink at Starbucks; there are a lot of options out there! While Tinder and Bumble are decent choices, they can be overwhelming and hard to sift through. Here is a curated list to help trim down the excess noise and let you focus on what’s important in dating: Higher Quality Matches: >Hinge: With detailed profiles, conversation starters, and a high-quality algorithm, Hinge aims to connect like-minded individuals and reduce the fluff. >The League: If you’re busy, picky, and ready to meet someone then The League is for you. A membership-based platform for success driven individuals, they even offer matchmaking services if you want to take it up a notch. >E-Harmony: An oldie but goodie, E-Harmony is still a great option for folks serious about meeting someone. Also, being that it is membership-based, this service matches based on compatibility.  It acquires more information for better matches, and seems to attract relationship-focused individuals. Spirituality Focused: >JDate: This app focuses on bringing Jewish singles together for long term relationships. With the largest number of Jewish users of any other app, this is a great place to start. >Christian Mingle: With over 15 million Christian users, Christian Mingle is the number one app for Christian focused singles. They also offer a range of communication tools to make connection easier. >Meet Mindful: A dating and connection app focused on bringing together intention, health, and mindfulness. This is a great option for folks who prioritize fitness, meditation, and value this in a partner. Specific Population: >Stir: This app is for all the single parents out there. By taking the awkwardness of addressing having kids out of the equation, there’s more time for meaningful connections to be made. >Kindred: Can’t have children, don’t want children, or are a parent who has a child and doesn’t want more? This is the app for you. >Feeld: An app focused on non-monogamous dating that believes in inclusivity and connection. This app even allows couples to create an account together. >HER: Created by women, for women, this app is for LGBTQIA2S+ individuals to build community and date. HER values safety, support, and connection. Still overwhelmed? Therapy may be a great place to get support around your dating profile, app or dating connections. Reach out today to get started with one of our relationship experts!

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