thrive logo
Contact Us

Blog Archives

box wrapped with a ribbon tied in a bow

Just Give Me a New Box

  Change doesn’t just happen. You need to create a safe space for yourself to think, feel and explore. If you create a good container, growth will follow. We’re all walking around with cracked containers. We’ve been cracked and warped by dysfunctional relationships, too much self-abuse and self-sabotage, and those nicks and scratches form childhood. You can create a new container for yourself. You can do it in therapy, but you don’t have to. If you have the courage to do something different, to really look at yourself, to be vulnerable, you can make a new container. Your new container will promote growth, because it’s sturdy where it needs to be and flexible enough for change.

Read More »
Denver counseling therapy

Get into Flow and Make Your Brain Happy

Psychologically speaking, what’s your optimal functioning? What’s the 14-er summit of your mindspace? You might think it’s when you are the happiest, but joy is a false summit (the one you glare at while trying to get your breath and sucking for dear life on your camelback). The real high-point for your brain is when you are involved in Flow. Flow is a term coined by psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (and no, I can’t pronounce that name). You experience flow when you are fully immersed in an activity that uses both your body and your mind. It’s an activity that you choose to do for its own sake, just because you like it. A lot of people experience Flow when they are hiking a mountain or playing a sport. Others get into flow when playing music, drawing, or playing chess. There are ten factors that tend to accompany Flow. Clear goals that, while challenging, are still attainable. Strong concentration and focused attention. The activity is intrinsically rewarding. Feelings of serenity; a loss of feelings of self-consciousness. Timelessness; a distorted sense of time; feeling so focused on the present that you lose track of time passing. Immediate feedback. Knowing that the task is doable; a balance between skill level and the challenge presented. Feelings of personal control over the situation and the outcome. Lack of awareness of physical needs. Complete focus on the activity itself. For me, getting into a state of Flow is essential for my self-care. If I don’t get my Flow, I get cranky, irritable, and stressed out. I’ve found Flow in playing my guitar, riding my snowboard, and hitting golf balls at the driving range. Flow. Get some.

Read More »
how can I improve my motivation

How to make a new habit

Everyone’s been talking about New Year’s Resolutions lately. We all know, love, or loathe these January Jumpstarts. While trying not to fume at how crowded my Kickboxing class is becoming, I do try to take stock at the beginning of the year and focus on healthy habits. Forming a new habit is tough. Our old habits are like grooves worn into our brains from repeated use. It’s easy to fall into them and roll merrily along.  But it’s possible to create new habits and stick with them. Here’s some tips for making your new habit stick: 1. Cue yourself A habit is simply an automatic behavior. It’s easier to make new behaviors automatic if we have a cue. You could use many things to cue yourself, like the alarm on your phone or a strategically placed post-it. You could also make a different behavior a cue, like walking in your door after work could cue you to take the dog for a walk. 2. Create a parallel behavior Old habits never quite go away, but they grow weaker over time. Research shows that to create a new habit, you should piggy-back on an existing habit. Take a habit you want to break, like smoking, and replace it with a healthy habit, such as getting more exercise. The smoking habit is already lodged in your brain and there are many cues to smoke. Use this to your advantage by engaging in your new behavior (taking a walk) whenever you would reach for the cigarettes. 3. Give it 30 days (or more) I’ve heard many times that it takes 30 days to make a habit. Maria over at Brain Pickings  reminds us that magic numbers always require a grain of empirical salt. Simple habits like drinking a glass of water in the morning may be formed in 30 days, but more involved habits like exercising take a longer time.  So give yourself some time, and stick with it. It will become automatic eventually.

Read More »