Healing from trauma is hard work. It’s exhausting and taxing. As a supporter, you can help by encouraging the survivor to continue doing their work of healing while validating how difficult the process is. Sometimes we all need a word of encouragement to continue down an uncomfortable path. Make time to encourage the survivor in your life, letting them know they can do it and that you have faith in them.
Here are some things to say to encourage the survivor in your life:
- You’re doing a great job, I can’t imagine who difficult this must be for you.
- I know it’s hard to do this healing work, keep at it.
- I saw that you used that new coping tool you learned in your group, great job.
- How can I help you to stay on your healing path?
- Can I help you find a therapist to talk through this?
- You seem overwhelmed but you’re doing a great job right now, let’s slow things down and talk about it.
If your Loved One has stopped their healing process
As a trauma therapist, I know first-hand that healing is really hard work, and sometimes people ‘drop out’ of their process. They could stop seeing their therapist, stop going to their group, stop utilizing coping tools and turn to unhelpful ones such as using substances to ‘numb out’ or shutting down their feelings. It happens, and it’s scary for those who love them and only want to see them get better. As the Encourager, you can support them by helping them re-enter their healing process and remind them of the progress that you see when they are working on these things. When the survivor is in their healing process, it can be difficult to see their progress, so make sure that you are reminding them in concrete ways of how their work is helping and encourage them to continue. Be their cheerleader, they need one right now.