During the Coronavirus crisis, social distancing is priority number one. But social distancing doesn’t mean that our need for connection and relationships ends. In fact, during times of stress or uncertainty, we need people more than ever.
In fact, I really hate the term “social distancing.” To fight the virus we need physical distancing, but we can still be social. I know it looks a little different now, but connection can still happen even while we all work hard to “flatten the curve” and fight Covid-19.
I get it, it’s really hard right now to pay attention to your mental health and hold on to social connections. At I write this, I am working from home via telehealth while taking care of my two kids (ages 4 and 1). My husband is also working from home. We have one home office between us, so there’s a constant juggle.
I love my husband, but I miss my friends and coworkers. I miss chatting with my neighbors at our local coffee shops and restaurants. I miss my yoga teacher and the other parents at my daughter’s preschool.
Life just doesn’t feel normal right now, and that’s because it’s not.
I’ll share how I’m fostering connection and social support for myself right now, and what I’m helping our clients do as well:
Remember phone calls? Time to bring them back
Remember when we called people on the phone? Like actually called them? We heard their voice and hey heard ours too. Let’s bring that back. I know it can feel really strange. If you feel nervous about it, ask your friends to have a phone date. Yes, you really can make a phone date. Here’s an actual text conversation I had two days ago with my best friend:
Me: This is all so hard. I miss seeing you. Can we have a phone date tonight?
Her: Yes! What a great idea. When I get the kids down at 8pm I’ll call you.
Me: Perfect!
Virtual Happy Hours-it’s a Coronavirus thing
Virtual happy hours are really great. I was skeptical at first, but give it a try! I decided to take the plunge and set up a virtual happy hour with 6 friends last night. I texted all of them and said that it was happening at 8, and I would send out the link. BYOB of course. At 8pm everyone showed up via Google Hangouts. We laughed and commiserated with each other. We played the guessing game “who has the most toilet paper in their house right now?” It was a great release for all of us.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need
Everyone is feeling isolated right now. I can tell you that our clients are sharing feelings of stress, loneliness and isolation. This is a good time to practice putting those feeling into words, and those words into requests so that friends and family can show up for you and support you.
Everyone has different needs in relationships, so take a moment to think about what others usually do that make you feel supported, seen, and valued. Maybe it’s talking on the phone, or maybe it’s a simple text to say “I’m thinking of you.” Perhaps it’s a virtual book club. Whatever you need, try to ask loved ones and see how they respond. Here’s some ideas you can use:
I’m going so stir-crazy at home! Want to play an online board game tonight with me?
I’m feeling scared because I have my own health issues, can we talk about it?
This is such a stressful time! I’m going to send you a text if I need to vent, is that okay?
Remember you are not alone.
There is a unique opportunity we all have right now in the midst of this crisis to honor the fact that we are all in this together. We usually imagine we are the only one that feels left out, lonely, or isolated. Right now, everyone feels this way.
Professionals can help too
Most therapists, like our team, are now providing online therapy. It’s easy to set up and see your therapist from the comfort of your home. If you find yourself feeling anxious, depressed, hopeless, or overwhelmed, therapy can help. We are seeing clients for both long-term and short-term therapy. It can help to have someone on your team who is trained to tackle these issues.