By: Jessica Taylor, LPC
How Can I Improve My Motivation?
One of the most common complaints of the clients that I see in therapy is regarding a lack of motivation. Sometimes motivation is a symptom of mental illness such as depression or anxiety, but even people with pretty balanced moods struggle with motivation. Someone can get up every day and go to work, pay their bills and take care of their family but still struggle to find the motivation to do things like exercise a few times a week. Or to plan ahead and cook for themselves each night. Or to organize that closet. Or to call a friend back. I could go on and on.
The bad news about motivation is that it might never appear. We will have to do the thing anyway, without feeling the motivation to do so. The good news is that we actually don’t really need motivation to start the task. If you find yourself focusing on a lack of motivation, here are some things to think about that might help you out.
Think About What You Can Control
When thinking about how you can complete that daily task that you have been dreading, or how to implement and sustain a new habit, the most important question to ask yourself is: “what is in my control?” Often times, we focus on the things that are completely out of our control (ie: “Why don’t I feel motivated to put myself on a budget?”). This is because it makes us feel anxious when we notice that something is out of control. So we hone in on that thing and trick ourselves into thinking that if we just stress out about it enough, we will in fact gain control and everything will be fine. But in order to reduce your symptoms of anxiety or depression and increase things like your daily functioning and level of motivation, you need to develop actual action steps.
Here’s an example of how to put this into practice:
Carol beats herself up every day as she is running late for work. She seems to always hit the snooze button five times before getting out of bed and getting in the shower, which results in negative self-talk and feeling anxious about getting to work on time so that she does not get reprimanded by her boss. She wonders: Why can’t I just be a morning person and look forward to getting started in the morning?
Carol focusing on why she isn’t a ‘morning person’ isn’t helpful, because that is out of her control. Instead, it would be more productive for her to think about implementing something like a reward system to create motivation for herself in getting out of bed in the morning. For example, if she gets out of bed three times this week, without hitting the snooze button, she can buy a coffee for herself on Friday.
Know Your Currency
In the example above, Carol used a reward system to help herself create a new habit. This goes along with my next point. It is important to know what your primary good is—or what drives you. For some people, connection with other people is the most important thing to them, so they could use time with friends or family as a way to motivate or reward. Others enjoy more tangible rewards (see Carol’s coffee above). Then there are those that just seek out the feeling of accomplishment or excellence in some activity or habit. Whatever your currency is, try using that as a way to motivate the action (even if you don’t feel motivated.)
Break Larger Goals Down into Smaller Ones
Take a moment to think about the goals that you are wanting to motivate yourself to accomplish. Do they feel overwhelming? If so, break them down into smaller goals. Take your larger goal and think of it in terms of what you can work to accomplish today, this week, this month, and then by the end of this year. For example, if your goal is “I want to save money,” ask yourself: “How much money can I save today? And then how much money can I save from my next paycheck? How much money can I save overall this month?” Doesn’t that feel more doable?
Don’t Wait to Feel Motivated
Remember, just because you don’t feel motivated, doesn’t mean that you can’t start working on your goals right now! Chances are, that once you start working on the task at hand, you will begin feeling momentum. When I get up in the morning, I never feel motivated to exercise. But I do the Pilates class anyway. I never regret going, and the next time I start to dread going to that class, I remember how good I felt during and afterwards the class the last time I went. Just start with one small part of your goal today and see is that small action step starts to snowball into something larger.