By: Amelia Elkins, LCSW, CAS
“I don’t have a problem”
“Everyone drinks as much as I do”
“I have to use my phone for work”
“Don’t we all go shopping when we have a bad day?”
Sound familiar? Questioning behaviors around coping tools is healthy and normal. From cellphone use, to alcohol, shopping, videogames, or other illicit substances, it can be hard to understand a healthy balance. For example, we live in a culture focused on using alcohol to celebrate occasions and to manage stress so understanding a healthy balance is challenging. For some, having a balance isn’t an option and the only option is complete sobriety from whatever the behavior may be. Here are four themes to explore if you’re interested in checking your behavior:
- Impact: How is use affecting various areas of your life? Work, friendships, romantic relationships, hobbies, or health? Do you find yourself missing work or skipping family functions to utilize your vice? Are you spending large amounts of money to acquire the vice which has caused financial difficulties? Are you hiding your use due to concern from others? Has the vice negatively impacted your health? These could signal having a problem.
- Tolerance: Has the amount of time or amount of substance increased since the behavior began? This may look like starting out at one hour of video games per day and has turned into 8 hours a day. If you find yourself needing more to get the same high, this could signal signs of an addiction.
- Emotions: Are you using your vice to avoid facing uncomfortable emotions? Maybe even to celebrate positive emotions? Do you need it to feel anything at all? Are you having emotional meltdowns after losing a video game or become irate when you can’t obtain your substance? Exploring how your emotions are connected to your habit is crucial.
- Family Patterns: Are you repeating family patterns such as shopping when stressed or getting drunk after a hard day at work repeatedly? Do members of your family struggle with addiction? These are risk factors, not only biologically, but also environmentally. We tend to be prone to repeating what we’re around growing up, whether positive or negative, and this cannot be ignored.
If any of these strike a chord for you, therapy may be a great option for support. Here are more resources on addiction: