When you have Social Anxiety, meeting new people is always a challenge. Going out and mingling can feel like a minefield. Some people think those with Social Anxiety are naturally introverts or not interested in making friends and finding partners, but that can’t be further from the truth.
One of my clients with Social Anxiety said to me the other day:
I desperately want to find a partner, but how can I do that if I have Social Anxiety. I want to connect with people, but I just get so nervous I end up leaving and going home. Even online dating needs me to meet them in person at some point. Where can I wade into being social in Denver? Everyone seems to already know everyone here. I feel so lonely.
A lot of people can relate. Social Anxiety is actually really common. Even if someone doesn’t struggle with Social Anxiety over their entire lives, its’ not uncommon to have a period in your life where being social just freaks you out. It’s especially difficult in Denver. Denver is a social place. People like to get outside, mingle, drink their craft beers, and marvel at each other’s adorable dogs.
If you do have Social Anxiety, there are some great places to go in Denver and some strategies to ease into it so you’re not overwhelmed. Here’s some tips and places to go:
Go somewhere that has an activity to focus on.
This takes and pressure off and gives you something to talk about with others. It’s not all eye contact, all the time. If you have Social Anxiety, you know that eye contact can be something to raise your anxiety. So having something else to focus on while being social is a great idea. Here’s some places to go in Denver to do social activities:
Paint-and-Sip. These public art studios provide all the art supplies and walk you through making a painting. They usually provide wine to sip while you paint and socialize.
Cooking Classes at the Cook Street School. Taking a cooking class with others gives you something delicious to focus on while you meet other foodies.
Organized Hikes with REI. Denver loves REI. They lead organized hikes that you can join and meet others who love the outdoors.
Join a Team to give yourself structure.
Social sports are huge in Denver, and they are really fun. These sports leagues are usually relaxed and non competitive. It gives you something to focus on while chatting with others. As a bonus for those with Social Anxiety, the league provides you with structure. The games are set in advance, and you’re already committed to you team, so this gives you some extra motivation to show up and interact with others. Here’s some great sports leagues in Denver you can join:
KIFAC is a really fun league for kickball in Denver (bonus: they usually provide beer to drink while you play)
Volleyball of the Rockies. Ever been to Wash Park and seen miles of volleyball nets? That’s VOTR.
Play Mile High. They organize lots of different sports around the city.
Tap into your altruism and volunteer.
Research shows that Social Anxiety goes down in situations where you are focused on others, rather than internally freaking out that you just said something stupid. Volunteering is a great way to leverage this if you have Social Anxiety. You get out to meet others, but there’s a mission behind it and while you’re feeling good about giving back, your mind isn’t focusing too much on your own anxiety. You’ll also likely meet other caring, great people at your volunteer event. Here in Denver, there’s a wonderful organization called Project Helping that organizes volunteer activities. Thrive Counseling and Project Helping partner up all the time to promote both volunteerism and mental health wellness.