By: Jessica Taylor, LPC
What You Should Do If You Feel Like Therapy Isn’t Helping
If you have been engaging in therapy for a while now and are feeling as though it is not helping you feel much better than when you started the process, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself before losing hope.
Is My Therapist a Good Fit?
Oftentimes, the most important aspect of the therapy experience is whether your therapist is a good fit for your personality and your therapy needs. One easy way to determine if your therapist is a good match for you is to ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel comfortable being around my therapist in a genuine way? (ie: using swear words if those are in your vocabulary).
- Do I feel like I can tell my therapist anything, without feeling judged?
- Do I feel like my therapist is actively helping me work toward my treatment goals?
- Do I like my therapist’s ‘style’ of practice? For example, some therapists are quiet for most of the 50 minutes, while others are more direct and solution-focused, offering specific strategies.
If the answer to either of these is no, it might be time to look into finding a new therapist. This current therapist might not be the best match for you, but you can find someone who is!
Do I Need to Adjust My Expectations?
Therapy is not going to make you feel happy forever. It is part of the human experience to have a baseline mood that has ups and downs; there are just some of us that have worse ‘downs’ than others. There are times when you will be feeling great, times when you will feel ‘eh,’ and times that you will be struggling. Therapy is a tool to help you improve functioning in any domain of life where you might be struggling, as well as learn how to recognize what is in your control (action steps you can take) anytime you notice that your baseline mood is getting to an unhealthy place.
Are We Working on The Right Treatment Goals?
If you are feeling as though the sessions with your therapist are somewhat aimless, ask your therapist if you can talk about your treatment plan. This is something that is usually discussed within the first three sessions, but it can be extremely helpful to look the plan over every six months in order to determine how you are progressing on current goals and whether or not you would like to add any goal.
Am I Using the Strategies We Talk About Outside of Our Sessions?
No progress is going to be made if you are feeling hopeful and motivated to use the skills during your therapy sessions, but then forget what you have learned and engage in the same unhelpful behaviors as soon as you leave. If you are struggling to figure out how you can take what you have learned in therapy and apply this to your life, ask your therapist for tips!
Do I Need to Consider Taking Medications?
Studies have shown that for individuals experiencing significant symptoms of mental disorders, such as anxiety or depression, therapy is more impactful if they are also taking medications. Along the same lines, medications are more helpful when they are taken while the individual is also engaged in talk therapy. If you are feeling as though you are picking up helpful skills and strategies in therapy, and using them regularly, but still not seeing much change in your mood and functioning, ask your therapist if they can provide a referral to a medication provider.