By: Bobby Dunham, MA, LPCC
Is Your Use of Alcohol Hurting or Helping?
Many of us remember the intoxicating loss of inhibitions the first time we drank alcohol. That feeling of “taking the edge off” may have allowed you to feel more comfortable in your own skin while in social settings. Using alcohol to reduce the stress of social situations is completely normal, but when does it begin to ultimately lower our confidence rather than heighten it? In my experience working with my clients as a mental health counselor, here are some typical warning signs that might mean your use of alcohol is starting to negatively impact your functioning.
- You regret your behavior the next day
Okay, so you wake up the morning after a great night out. If you are looking back and cringing, thinking about something you may have said or done, then this a good sign that the alcohol is actually hurting your self-confidence. When we feel that our behavior with alcohol is no longer up-to-par with our own standards for ourselves, then it might be time to reevaluate what alcohol is really doing for us.
- You don’t feel as confident as you used to without alcohol
If someone becomes so used to, and dare I say, reliant on alcohol to feel comfortable in social settings then this could suggest avoidant or maladaptive behaviors to stress or social anxiety. Alcohol can boost a specific type of confidence, but it should never become a requirement.
- Alcohol is distracting you from your goals
One of the ways we build self-confidence is to achieve specific goals we have set for ourselves. We all know the feeling of disappointment when we have failed to accomplish (or even begin) a goal we have set. If alcohol use has become a common barrier or hinderance to achieving your goals, then it is going to also hurt your long-term self-worth and should maybe be cut out or limited.
- Your physical and/or mental health is being damaged
Beer bellies are a real thing and, for most of us, they don’t make us feel more confident. Alcohol is full of empty calories and adds to anxiety and depression, so if you have found that you have gained weight, feel more anxious, or are just feeling lousy from the amount of alcohol you consume, then it might be time to make changes in your relationship with alcohol.
You Might Be Asking Yourself: Now What?
Get clarity.
These are just some of the signs that I have heard from clients that their relationship with alcohol isn’t what it used to be and just isn’t adding to their confidence anymore. Luckily, identifying the cause of the problem is a huge step for change and with support, (and maybe some virgin cocktails at those happy hours), behaviors and self-confidence can be rebuilt. If you are still unsure if you might need to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol, here is a link for a quiz about your use to hopefully stimulate some deeper insight. https://www.verywellmind.com/could-you-have-an-alcohol-abuse-problem-3894213
Ask for help.
Finally, if you feel that you need help decreasing your dependence on alcohol and learning some replacement behaviors, reach out for help. Starting the process of changing your relationship with alcohol can be overwhelming. There is no shame in asking for support from a professional.