Four Questions to Reset Any Type of Relationship
Amelia Elkins, LCSW, CAS
“Connection is why we’re here: It gives purpose and meaning to our lives”
-Brené Brown
Relationships serve so many purposes in our lives. Friendship, family, romance, and workplace dynamics are just a few examples of the types of relationships which help us feel connected. Support, laughter, play, consultation, and love are just a few reasons we have relationships in the first place. The benefits of connection are endless and research has found connection improves physical health and mental well-being (http://ccare.stanford.edu/uncategorized/connectedness-health-the-science-of-social-connection-infographic/). As with anything in life, relationships also take commitment and maintenance. Here are four basic but important questions to enhance any type of relationship:
- What is going well in the relationship? How have we persevered to this point?
Whether a friend, coworker, or intimate partner, it can be easy to focus on the negative. Exploring the positive aspects of the relationship is a great starting point.
- What feels important to work on or address in our relationship?
Every relationship has challenges and by naming them connection may not only be improved but sustained. Management vs. fixing is a great place to start (https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-vs-resolving-conflict-relationships-blueprints-success/).
- What is one new activity we can commit to together this month?
How may engaging in something new improve the dynamic? Again, whether this is a work outing or new date night idea, fresh perspective can lead to new energy and commitment.
- Are there any ways to improve communication moving forward in our relationship?
Focusing on active listening means being present, engaged, and interested. Basics like eye contact, body language, and reducing distractions such as electronics are a great way to reset the communicative relationship. More on this here: https://psychcentral.com/health/steps-to-better-communication-today#practical-tips.