The holidays can be stressful. Any anxiety or depression that you feel around this time is sure to be even worse if you struggle to get along or communicate with family members. If you are feeling worried about interacting with family members during the holiday season, it is important to recognize the aspects of these interactions that are within your control, and the aspects that are out of your control. Keep reading for some tips and tricks that you can try in hopes of having more positive (and possibly even enjoyable) experiences with your family members.
Tips for Surviving Family Gatherings During the Holidays
Take Care of Yourself
The holiday season is such a busy time for everyone, so you can’t expect others to advocate for your needs. In order to engage with family members as your ‘best’ self, it is important that you maintain positive self-care habits during this time (ie: getting enough sleep, getting enough exercise and spending time alone if you need that to recharge.) If you let self-care strategies fall to the wayside during the holidays, you are more susceptible to feeling anxious or irritable, which can lead to negative communication patterns with your family members.
Set Boundaries
At this point talking about setting boundaries with family members feels cliché. But that’s because they really are so important! Especially during holidays, which can be chaotic even in the best circumstances. If there is something that you feel strongly about, you will need to voice this in a productive way.
For example: “I understand that you want me to be at your house at 7 am, and I am excited to see you all, but is it okay if I show up a little bit later? I’m afraid I won’t be any fun if I don’t get enough sleep.”
I know, I know—easier said than done! It can be incredibly difficult to voice our opinions or needs with our family, but this is something that is within your control. And even if you don’t get the response or outcome that you were hoping for, it will still feel good knowing that you communicated assertively. Remember, none of us are mind readers, so your family won’t know what you need unless you tell them!
Only Talk About Neutral Topics
We have all heard the saying that you shouldn’t talk about religion or politics in certain settings, and this can definitely apply to certain family gatherings. It may be difficult to refrain from discussing topics that you are interested in, but in doing so during family gatherings you may be setting yourself up to feel angry or frustrated. If you focus on keeping the conversation on more neutral topics, there is going to be space for more enjoyment. Maybe even consider showing up prepared with a game or a puzzle!
Reach Out For Support
During this stressful time, don’t forget about the social supports you have in your corner. If you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, reach out to that friend that just ‘gets’ you. Chances are, they are needing someone to vent to as well! It’s also okay if your support person is your therapist. Mental health professionals are aware of how interacting with family members during the holidays can trigger or worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression, and they are going to be more than willing to work on this during your sessions.