By: Jessica Taylor, LPC
For a lot of people, the holiday season is a time of joy and excitement. If this is not how you feel during this time of the year, it is important for you to know that you are not alone. According to psychologytoday.com, 38% of people that were interviewed for a survey reported that their stress levels increased during the holidays. Typical reasons for this increase in stress, as well as symptoms of anxiety or depression, include financial strains, feelings of loneliness and family relational issues.
- DO make sure you are taking care of your body’s basic needs
When we start to feel stressed, anxious, or depressed, the first thing we tend to neglect is our body’s most basic needs. When you start to feel bad, whether physically or emotionally, first ask yourself these questions: How have I been sleeping? When was the last time I drank a glass of water? Have I been eating healthy foods? Am I moving enough? Being more mindful in these areas, on a daily basis, can make a huge difference! This looks like scheduling yourself daily walks. Or finding a new healthy recipe to try.
- DON’T compare yourself to others
When you are feeling sad, I bet it sometimes seems like everyone around you is at their happiest. This only gets worse around the holidays. But just remember, that even if someone looks happy and not stressed at all on the outside, this might not be telling the full story. It’s best if you just accept how you are feeling, rather than telling yourself why those feelings are not okay. That is because telling ourselves that we should feel a certain way is a form of avoidance, which can actually make stress and general feelings of unhappiness worse.
- DO engage in activities that feel special to you
Maybe your holiday season doesn’t look the way you expected. Try to find small joys anyway. Create your own tradition, such as going to look at houses with holiday lights. Find a candle with a smell that you enjoy. Or make yourself a cup of hot cocoa and write in your journal. By investing in yourself in these minor ways, you might notice that you have found small moments of light during a dark time.
- DON’T do things that you know will make your feelings of stress or depression worse
When I talk to my clients about their symptoms of depression, we often refer to it as the “depression monster.” This imagery helps us see it as something that we are trying to avoid ‘feeding.’ For example, if you know that a particular Christmas movie is going to make you feel melancholy, watch a different one instead. If being alone on a holiday is going to make your negative thoughts and feeling of loneliness worsen, sign up to volunteer at a foodbank. At any given moment, ask yourself: “is this going to feed the depression monster?” If the answer is no, then go for it!
- DO know when it is time to ask for help
If you are feeling especially stressed or depressed during this holiday season, please remember that this is nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. Going through tough emotional times is part of the human experience. The expectations during the holiday season are often that we will be happy and spend quality time with loved ones, just like in the movies. If this is not your experience, that’s okay. It’s also okay if you feel as though you are unable to get through this difficult time on your own. If you notice that your feelings of stress or depression are getting to a point where they are negatively impacting your ability to function in any area of life, it might be a good idea to talk to a counselor. If you notice that you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, and don’t feel as though you can keep yourself safe, go to a crisis center or call a crisis hotline such as SAMHSA’s National Helpline (1-800-662-HELP (4357)). There are people who know what it feels like to hurt during the holiday season and they are ready to help.