Denver is an amazing city. I love it, and you probably do too. Ever since I moved here in 2009 I’ve made the Mile High City my home. I initially loved the focus on health, exercise, and outdoor activities.
But over the years working with my clients at Thrive Counseling, I’ve noticed a trend that, as a therapist, I’m not too happy with. This focus on being healthy has morphed into an intense (and sometimes unhealthy) focus on exercise and activities and the need to “fit in” in Denver, which for a lot of my clients means “having the perfect body.”
My husband and I joke to each other that in Denver or the surrounding mountains there is always someone “more extreme” than you. Last week I was out hiking, enjoying the mountains, and generally feeling good about myself. I felt like I was getting some good exercise in, and I gave myself a mental pat on the back about it. “Look at me” I thought, “I’m hiking up a mountain at 8am on a Sunday, go me!.” Then the inevitable happens. “On your left!” I hear from behind me. A kick-ass woman at least 20 years older than I am runs by me. I was huffing and puffing just walking up this incline, and she’s running past me.
I felt the wind fall out of my sails, and started to compare myself to her. Here she was, leaving me in the dust.
My friends have had this feeling too. If you think you’re doing well with your own exercise goals, there’s always someone else on the trail, in the gym, or on their yoga mat that is much more advanced than you.
Comparison happens everywhere of course, but it seems like Denver is a hyper-competitive city in terms of exercise and body image.
So What’s Up With Denver and Body Image?
Colorado has long ranked as the top or nearly the top healthiest state in the union. It has nearly the lowest average BMI in the nation and ranks high in measures of well-being. But there’s another story hiding in these stats: the focus on health, especially in the Denver Metro Area, can lead to poor body image, eating disorders and a general sense not never being “enough.”
My clients tell me all about this. They can never do enough yoga, run enough Warrior Dashes, climb enough 14-ers, ski enough power days, or feel good enough in their skin. At CU Boulder, female students report triple the rates of eating disorders over the national average. Male students report double the national average. Among Colorado teens, the rate of eating disorders is the fifth highest in the nation.
Is It Unhealthy to be Ultra-Focused on Health?
Actually, it can be. If a focus on health goes overboard, it can grow into an eating disorder. What is more likely, however, is a particular way of relating to food and exercise known as Orthorexia. It literally means a fixation on “righteous eating.” Someone with Orthorexia is so obsessed with healthy eating, they try to achieve a state of purity via organic vegetables or Chia-seed-laced drinks. They can fall for fad diets, hard. They feel anxiety-ridden and guilty about eating anything that they might consider unhealthy. They exercise in a rigid and sometimes extreme manner. Although eventually people’s health suffers from this approach to ‘healthy eating’, what usually suffers first is friendships and social life. It’s very hard to connect with someone who is rigid around food, and perhaps judges your ‘non-pure’ diet.
Clients tell me about the pressure in Denver to fit in, and fitting in here can revolve around food, exercise, and having “a perfect body.” A 28 year-old engineer was in my office yesterday and said:
“The perfect Denver girl is doing yoga all the time, and hiking, and making protein smoothies. It’s just so intense out here. Sometimes I think I’m doing well and then see my friend post about their 3-hour hot yoga session and I feel bad all over again.”
How To Love Your Body in Denver
My advice to clients who want to move past body issues is to start with small steps. First, acknowledge that you live in a bit of a pressure-cooker when it comes to body image. Give yourself some grace when you feel like you don’t “measure up.” Then gently challenge your own assumptions. Do you really believe that eating in a certain way is morally better than another way? Do you like everyone “should” be able to do two Warrior Dashes in one weekend, at altitude no less? Do you have reasonable expectations for yourself, or are those expectations not compatible with a balanced life?
After you have gained some insight, then take action. If you’ve fallen into a rigid way of eating, go get a meal that’s a little outside your comfort zone. Or if you feel a cold coming on, allow yourself to skip that CrossFit class.
Finally, it’s okay to reach out for help. A counselor or Dietician can help you feel out what’s reasonable and what may be too extreme in terms of eating and exercise.
Denver, keep being awesome, and keep loving yourselves!