By: Bobby Dunham, MA, LPCC
We know that keeping track of aspects of ourselves such as weight, work hours, and alcohol intake are important, but sometimes things can slip through the cracks. The COVID-19 Pandemic has certainly been difficult and confusing to say the least, but have we stepped back and really analyzed how it might be affecting our behaviors? And maybe even some parts of our personality? Take a few moments right now and consider whether you are really living the life you deserve, or if negative external circumstances have taken control of you and your mental health.
Here are the questions that as a mental health counselor I ask my male clients who are struggling and don’t know why.
Am I choosing to stay in and isolate myself, even when I don’t need to?
Okay, lockdown sucked. Maybe you are a very social person who feels refueled from socializing. Or maybe you are more introverted but still value having the option to be around loved ones. Either way, now that there are much fewer restrictions for our social lives are you still staying in similar patterns of socialization? Some of us might have become comfortable with isolation or even anxious about socializing from being locked down, that we now find ourselves staying in when we used to socialize more. If this is the case, you might benefit from putting yourself back out there and get reacclimated with the social world. Avoidance will only make it worse.
Habits: Am I staying up later, keeping a strange diet, or procrastinating doing my work?
Did once have very reliable sleep habits, diet, and work ethic? And maybe now you find yourself slipping in one (or all) of these realms? That is totally normal. Since people maintain habits from structure and stability in life, it makes sense that many of us have fallen into habits that we used to not have to worry about. Maybe during the pandemic you found yourself eating a bit too many of those snacks in the cabinet, or maybe putting off work until later because, “I’m just going to be sitting on my couch anyways.”. These things may have slipped past us in the moment and then began to feel normal. Luckily, we can identify them and hopefully start to rebuild some of the healthy habits we used to maintain.
Am I viewing myself in a negative way?
Okay, so this one can (and probably does) look very different for all of us. It also is a consequence of the last two areas we talked about. Many of us build a portion of our self-worth on how healthy and productive we feel in life. Since the COVID-19 pandemic certainly impacted productivity for many people, this can leave us feeling down about ourselves. Try to remember that it is totally normal if you gained some weight, didn’t make as much money, or developed some bad habits during the pandemic, the important thing is that we realize that we are still worthy. Once you start talking kinder to yourself, it is going to be much easier to make some positive changes in your life. Try and stay positive and be the change you want to see.
Do I have fewer outlets for talking with people?
Last but certainly not least, have you found yourself having fewer (or no) outlets for people to talk to? I am not talking about catching up with your grandma on the phone, I am talking about that close friend, relative, co-worker, or maybe therapist that we used to value just processing life with so much but with whom we have now lost touch. Some of us might have developed coping mechanisms to compensate for lack of social interactions during the pandemic, but guess what, we don’t need to anymore! If you look at your relationships and find some people who you used to love talking for hours with and now have lost touch, reach out to them. It has been weird for all of us, they will most likely be thrilled to hear from you!
COVID-19 has changed our world for the last few years, which naturally can create changes in ourselves that might have gone unnoticed. Take a step back now that the smoke is clearing and ask yourself, “am I still living the life that I used to be happy with?”. There is no doubt that we will forever be different from what COVID-19 did to the world, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go back to some of the behaviors we used to love about ourselves.
If you have lingering questions or just want to read more about men’s issues, here is a link to more great blogs!