Are you Sabotaging Your Own Happiness?

By: Jessica Taylor, LPC

Are you wondering why you feel okay, but not as good as you want to feel? Maybe you are able to go to work and do things throughout the day, but just feel ‘blah.’ Are there goals in your life that you have yet to accomplish and can’t figure out why? Here are 10 ways that you may be sabotaging your own happiness and overall mental health and functioning, without even realizing.

Not caring for your body’s basic needs

If you are not physiologically ‘okay,’ you are not going to be mentally okay and/or functioning at your best. If you are noticing that you are lacking energy, are struggling to concentrate, or just feel as though your mood is not where it could be, check in with yourself about the quality and quantity of your sleep, as well as your food and water intake. Seven to nine hours of sleep is optimal and very few people are functioning at their best with less sleep than that. If you are struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep, determine whether there are ways that your sleep hygiene can be improved.

If you are not eating enough whole foods (i.e.: there are too many beige things on your plate), or you are restricting yourself to too few calories per day, chances are you are going to at the very least experience some brain fog.

Water. That’s all, just drink water. There are too many benefits to list here, but to be more specific, most experts say that you should divide your weight in half and drink at least that many ounces of water each day (for example, if you weight 200 pounds, drink 100 ounces). If you don’t like water, try adding fruit or a squirt of a flavor enhancer.

Taking in damaging content on social media

Take a good hard look at who and what you are following (i.e.: exposing yourself to each day). Content doesn’t need to be negative to be considered damaging to your self-esteem and overall mood. For example, maybe there is a friend that posts perfectly posed pictures of her family on expensive vacations and you notice that after seeing this, you don’t feel great about your own life, body, job, etc. You don’t have to unfollow her, but you can ‘mute’ her content so that it doesn’t appear in your feed.

Far too often we compare the way we look to images we see in the media. But these perfect looking images are most often photoshopped and unattainable in real life. Look for places on the internet that “keep it real,” such as body, parenting, and mental health positivity accounts.

Not moving your body every day.

Find a type of movement that matches your personality and lifestyle. This can be as intense as a HIIT class or as low impact as taking a 30 minute walk each day.

Keeping harmful people in your life.

If you feel more bad than you do good in any type of relationship, it is time to assess whether you should either set more firm boundaries, or end that relationship altogether. Talk to a therapist if you are not sure about how to do those things.

Holding thing in

If you are struggling with something such as the death of a loved one, a traumatic experience, or symptoms of mental illness, it is not in your best interest to bottle up your thoughts and feelings. Making a practice out of writing in a journal can be helpful, but you may also need to process with a friend or trained counselor.

Buying into thoughts that hold you back

First ask yourself this: what are my goals? Maybe you want to be in a happy and loving long-term relationship. Or maybe you want to get a better job. Now ask yourself this: what thoughts about myself (or others) come up when I think about that goal? If you are buying into thoughts, such as: “I’m not attractive enough to find a partner,” or “I will never find a job that I like,” you are most likely holding yourself back from making advances toward your goals, regardless of external factors.

Not practicing mindfulness

Too many of us are book-ending our day with our phone in front of our face. Instead, try waking up in the morning and getting ready for bed a bit earlier so that you can implement some mindfulness techniques. For example, in the morning, try writing what you are grateful for while you sip your coffee. Or do some slow yoga poses after you get out of bed. During the day, find time to take a walk with no distractions and just observe nature. At night, read for a while and then listen to a guided meditation.

You are overscheduled

It’s good to have structure, but you also need some downtime where you can let your body and mind take a break. It is okay to not be productive for some time each day and allow yourself to watch your favorite show or do a puzzle.

You isolate from others

Alone time can be great, but even the most introverted people usually need some human connection. If you struggle with social anxiety, push yourself to be around others. This can be dinner with a friend or even just sitting in a coffee shop and making eye contact and smiling at the other patrons. The more you avoid human connection, the more you will feel anxious about it.

This is no structure in your day

Daily routines are wonderful for our mental health. If you have a 9-to-5 job, find morning and evening routines that work for you and stick with them. If you do not have a work schedule set for you by someone else, you need to create a bit more structure for yourself. Before you fully start your morning, just make a list of a few things you want to accomplish that day.

Resources Used:

https://bestlifeonline.com/hurt-mental-health/

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene

https://www.webmd.com/diet/features/water-for-weight-loss-diet#1